C.: Hey, d.c. I know that you’ve been studying for a big exam today. That’s why you haven’t been able to send me any scripts for a few days. d.: Yes, Cal.E.  that is accurate. . C.: How did you do on the exam? d.: Not as well as I had hoped, but about what I expected, I suppose. C.: What was the test on? d.: Mental health. C.: d.c, you’ve worked at six different correctional facilities, and you’ve been involved in correctional care for the last fourteen years. d.: And? C.: We

Okay, T, since you won the Knowledge of Ornithology contest, you get to decide if you will be introduced to the audience first or last. You also get your choice of corners to sit in between rounds.   Tux: Well.. I’ll take the corner opposite the door. That way I’ll be the first one to see if we’re being raided by animal control I also think that being introduced last is an advantage because it is more intimidating than being introduced first. Very Well Later that same day… La

Hello and welcome to Buddy Bones Memorial Stadium Flying high overhead today is the Buddy Bones Drone, sponsored by ABC, or Animal Byproducts Conglomerate. And now, let’s meet the contestants for today’s event.   In the black corner, standing two feet, two inches when standing on his hind legs, the six-time World Association of Cat-fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology heavy weight champion, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As the Tuxedo (who really n

C.: Well, d.c. hasn’t sent me a script for a few days, so I thought I would just wing it today. I suppose answering my fan mail could take up a few minutes, so here goes. Yes, no, maybe, if I feel like it, sometimes, always, never (knock knock knock) I wonder who that could be?Who is it? d.: It’s me, d.c., your best human friend and fellow blogger. C.: How do I know it’s really you?   d.: Come on, Cal.E., it’s raining, as usual when I walk to Wayne Manor to talk to you.   C.:

d.: this note from my friend, Cal.E.’s third husband, the six-time heavy weight World Association of Cat fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology champion of the World, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by his former BFF, business associate with the Triple T Cartel, and former WACKO tag team partner and now chief rival for T.’s six championship b

C.: Oh, hi T. Puppy Katt. Who’s your new friend?   d..: It’s the dog from down the street. T. Puppy walks by her house and barks “hello” almost every day. Finally, the dog’s human opened the gate and let T. Puppy play with her, so this is their second play date.   C.: A home and home schedule, I suppose. Speaking of which, why are you out here with T. Puppy and her new friend?   d.: Well, it’s like this, Cal.E. Do you remember the procedure I had done on my heart a couple of

d.: Well, it’s cold. The wind chill is 24 degrees in Southeast Texas. That may not be cold to people from the North, but Houston is noted for heat and humidity, not wind chills. Add freezing rain and sleet to the wind chill, and it’s a good day to stay inside. I’ll find something to do inside…I should study, and I will, as soon as I look at my emails,  and my accounts for Facebook, Instagram, X, What’s App., and, oh, I should study and forget about them. That’s what Trey doe

d.: (ring) this call is from an unknown number. I’d better not answer it. It may be someone trying to scam me, or, at least, waste my time….Well, the caller did leave a message. Maybe I should listen to it. I still haven’t decided whom to vote for, so a political call may be something I need to listen to. Hello, d.c. This is Calculating Einstein Katt’s third (and hopefully last) husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs

ultra modern communication device d.: (ring) Hello, you have reached the phone of Calculating Einstein Katt. If you will leave a name and number, I’ll call you when the time is right. In other words, when …  Hi Cal.E., it’s d.c. I need f you to write the blog for the next couple of days. I have a project that’s due for school, and the organization I’m dealing with has strict hours. I’ll try to write the blog next week.  Thak you so much. freezes over.   d.: Now, let’s see. Th

d.: Hey, Cal.E., what are the three sweetest words someone with a heart can hear?   C.: “I love you?”   d.: I love you too, Cal.E., but that’s not it.   C.: Let’s see, “The Texans win?”   d.: No, they lost today in a snowstorm, but that’s not it either.   C.: Then, is it “Here’s your money”?   d.: That’s a good one, too, but that’s not quite it.   C.: Well, if it isn’t any of those things, d.c., what is it?   d.: Cal.E, the three best words one’s heart can hear are “Normal si

Later that same day…. d.: (ring) Oh,, hi, Cal.E. I’m glad I caught you. I'm so excited about this show that I just couldn't wait another day to tell you the detaisl Is your third husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by T.’s former BFF, business partner with the Triple T Cartel and former World Association of Cat Fighting and Knowledge of

d.: (ring). Hold on, Cal.E. Trey came home from college to get some paperwork for his new job, and I wanted to give him some advice before he left. “Trey, always remember and never forget, keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel. You’ll then have a pointed nose, sinus problems, and probably tendonitis in that shoulder. Good talk, son.” Okay, Cal.E, I’m sorry I haven’t called you lately, but I’ve been working on some television scripts, and I think I ma

C.: d.c., why are you calling me so early?   d.: It’s mid-morning, Cal.E.   C.: And I’m a cat, so this is like calling a person at midnight.   d.:  Oh, yes. I suppose I’m just still disoriented from my trip to the giant convenience store just outside of our neighborhood. C.: What happened?   d.: Well, I’ve had this persistent cough for a few weeks now, so I wanted to make my special tea to get rid of it. One of the key ingredients is honey, but I don’t buy that on a regular

d.: So, Cal.E., we haven’t talked much lately due to my schedule. Do you have any words of wisdom for our readers today?   C.: I do.   d.: ,,,Okay, let’s hear them.   C.: Well, Confounded Cat once said, “ It is good to be wise between your ears. It is better by far to be a cat.”   d.: Come again?   C.: It is good…   d.: I heard you, but who is Confounded Cat?   C.: He was the founder of our planet. The story of how our planet came to be is an interesting one, to be sure.   d.

C.: Well, small, intimate audienc, d..c. is busy with schoolwork and working,. It seems that the computers wher ehe works aren't working properly, so the nurses must do all paperwork by hand. Because of his age, d.c. is one of the few nurses who knows hot to do that, so they need him to show all the young nursese how to dcument by hand. Consequently, I’m writing this blog solo. This is an excellent opportunity for me to answer my fan mail, so get the popcorn ready and fo

C.: Hey, d.c. I’m sorry you had to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day,,,   d.: That’s okay, Cal.E., my family is going to celebrate the holidays tomorrow.   C.: That’s good, and I hope that tomorrow is as good as yesterday was for my kittens and me.   d.: Oh, did y’all have fun?   C.: YES!!! T. bought sleds for all fourteen of my kittens and me, and he imported snow and an incline to ride them on. We also all got a lot of cat toys to play with. I wish every day was like

PUPPY PATTER  by T. Puppy Katt: It looks as if Dad left his computer on while he and Mom went on Christmas vacation. I hope that helps Mom get over her headache. She's had it for several years now! Anyway, Dad’s computer can translate both Dogma and Catonese. That’s how that annoying cat who lives in Wayne Manor with her third husband, the six-time World Association of Cat-fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As T

C.: Hi, d.c., can you do me a favor and watch my dogs tonight?   d.: When did you get a dog?   C.: Not A dog, two dogs.   d.: When did you get two dogs?   C.: Yesterday. my third husband, six-time World Association of Cat fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology heavy weight champion of the world, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. the Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by T.’s for BFF,

C.: Hey, d.c, do you remember what the name of that course was that you took a couple of years ago to help improve your memory? d.: No, but shy do you ask about something I don’t remember happening? C.: I guess that answers my question As for yours, I want my third husband, six-time World Association of Cat fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology heavy weight champion of the world, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. the Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorte

d.: Cal.E, I’ve got a major paper to write, and I need to get ready for a trip next weekend. I also have a final exam nest week. Can you please write the script today?   C.: No can do, d.c. My third husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k;a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known AS The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by T.’s former BFF, business partner with the Triple T Cat Cartel and former World Association of Cat Fig