Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: Well, d.c. is at work, so I’m just going to chill and listen to his favorite podcast.

Live from Cut-N-Shoot Texas, it’s the Joe Groan Show here on KIND/KING Conroe Cut-N-Shoot, the number one-hundred and fifth rated radio station in the northeast corner of Southeast Texas. And now, here’s your host, Joe Groan!

JG:  Oh, oh, oh!! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! The Animal Olympics are over, well almost.  The second heat of the tortoise ten -k is almost over. That leaves only six more heats to go before the semifinals.

All of the other animals involved in the Animal Olympics have gone on with their lives. Heck, the six-time World Association of Cat-fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology Heavy Weight and Ight heavy weight champion Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known AS T Because Triple T Was Already Taken

is now a gentle cat.

T. has retired to life in the suburbs with his wife

and fourteen step-kittens.

His opponent in the championship round of cat fighting and in the most challenging computer game known to man, Pong,

Elac,

has gone back to her home planet, and this race is still in its second heat. Whoever the genius was that decided to race tortoises for over six miles needs to be called on the carpet. This distance is too long for a tortoise on land. Either shorten the race, or let these tortoises do what they do best–swim. It wouldn’t have taken them three weeks to swim six and one-quarter miles, I’m sure of that.

On a related note, I’ll give T two months before he decides to train to go back into the ring. I’m sure that T loves his wife and step-kittens, but there is something inside of a competitor that won’t let him or her quit until the final bell rings. T only lost one cat fight (two, if you count the exhibition match with his now wife), and it got under his skin. T will tire of his former tag-team cat fighting partner, the original Triple T, Tom the Tabby

talking about how he defeated the G.O.A.T. of WACKO cat-fighting. He’ll come back into the ring, maybe with his wife by his side, and win his title back from his former BFF and business partner. Going legit is just not in T’s blood. That folks, is something you can take to the bank. In fact, I’ll give anyone who wants to bet against it ten-to one odds.  (This blog is for entertainment purposes only.)

This has been Joe Groan, with one man’s (correct) opinion.