Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: d.c., I’m drafting a graphic novel, and I need you to edit and critique it when you have time.

d.: Well, I’m not that busy right now. I’m just mowing the grass, washing dishes and clothes, and then going to the gym since it’s my day off from work.

C: Okay, I’m emailing the manuscript to you now.

Later that same day

C.: (ring) Hello, d.c., did you get a chance to read my brilliant manuscript that's going to make me so much money in royalties that I'll become a

d.: I did, and it brings up a myriad of questions.

C.: Okay, I suppose that means a lot, so go ahead and ask the first one.

d.: Well, first, who’s #@!%$  *&5$#?

C.: Oh, that’s my pen name. I reasoned that if I was going to author a graphic novel, I should have a pen name that matched the material.

d.: Well, that answers my second question.

C.: Which was?

d.: Where are the pictures?

C.: Pictures? I don’t need no stinkin’ pictures. I’m authoring a graphic novel.

d.: Right. That means that the story is told through pictures as well as words. We formerly called them comic books….

C.: Oh, what comic books did you read when you were a kid?

d.: Batman, Spider Man, Superman….

C.: Those don’t seem like they would be very funny, so why are they called ‘comic books’?

d.: Well, I think that may be why they decided to call them graphic novels. Most are telling stories that aren’t funny. They just have a common story and/or theme that runs through each book. Anyway, none of these ‘graphic novels were filled with profanity.

C.: Well, the times have changed, then. I read a few of these graphic novels for research, and they did have a lot of profanity in them.

d.: Unless you want an X rating, you need to take out some (or most) of the profanity…

C.: d.c., I know you try to write to an audience that doesn't enjoy  profanity-laced dialogue, but I’m a different kind of cat (hee hee).

d.: You certainly are that.

C.: So, what do I need to do next, after using a thesaurus to find ‘clean’ words to replace the profanity?

d.: You need to find an artist to draw the pictures, then a colorist to get the colors correct…well, there are probably computer programs to do both. That would be helpful for someone like me. I can’t draw a stick man with a ruler....

Although, most graphic novels are now written for adults, not children, and some of the material is disturbing. Nevertheless, some people may enjoy this type of material. Maybe you just need to find a different editor. I’m not a graphic novel writer, nor do I read them, so look on social media and online and find someone who will appreciate your particular kind of genius.

C.: I’ll get right  on that…after I finish my cat nap.

d.: So, that’s the end of today’s cat tail(e), folks.

Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.