Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: Okay, T.,

now that you put Meow Z. tongue

out on the side of interstate 10,

can you tell me what happened at the end of your cat fight

with your former BFF, co-founder and business partner with the Triple T Cartel, former World Association of Cat-fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology tag team cat-fighting partner and now chief WACKO nemesis and now arch-rival in real life as well, The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby?

t.: You didn’t watch the fight on television?

C.: Well….no. I had a gig with my former band that is now called Ralph and the RoCKats.

They renamed the band after my youngest male offspring, Ralph, who is the best (and probably only) bass player in the world.

He can also play a stringed instrument that is spelled the same way well.

Anyway, after catching the band's bus to Beaumont,

I got to play the last  note on the last song after Meow took over lead vocals from me.

The band had asked me to fill in for their lead vocalist because she had laryngitis, but Meow stole the spotlight and he’s too big to push out of the way.

I recorded your cat fight on the large screen television the five-starhotel where we satyed

had in our room,

but channel 222222222.22 broke away from the action in the third round; just as you and Tom were both being counted out.

I suppose the “Bambi Rule” doesn’t apply to cat fighting.

T.: The what rule?

C.: Oh, as you know, my co-writer is an avid football fan. He even wears the helmet he wore in high scholl when he watches a football game.

We were watching an NFL game, and

the score was out of hand. One team was beating the other senseless, but the network wouldn’t switch to another game that may have been more interesting. d.c. said that it was because of the “Bambi Rule.”

Apparently, in the last century, one-hundred or so years ago, one of the major networks was carrying an NFL game. The game was tied at the end of regulation play, so the teams were obliged to play an overtime period. However, the network had a contractual obligation to show the movie “Bambi”

at six o’clock p.m.,

and the footballs game’s overtime period wasn’t over yet, but one team was about to score, but it was exactly six p.m., so the network cut away to the movie, leaving a lot of NFL fans miffed.

Twenty or so years later, the same thing that I described about the game d.c. and I were watching happened, and the network cut away from that game to show another, more interesting game. This angered the two team’s home fan base, so the commissioner at the time recited the “Bambi Rule” to the network.

That rule states that if a network is showing an NFL game, it must televise it until the end in the home markets of the two teams that are playing. As I said before, though, that rule doesn’t seem to apply to WACKO cat fighting…

T.: Or any other illegal sports, I suppose. Well, when Tom pulled me off the ladder I was climbing to get the prize and to be declared the middle-weight WACKO cat-fighting champion of the world,

we bumped heads. I suppose you saw that part, because you saw the referee counting us both out…

eight, nine....

I felt guilty. Maybe we should turn around and get Meow Z. Tongue. He doesn’t have any other friends on this planet like we do.

I’ll  make a U-turn at the next crossover and go back and get him. The poor guy is a jerk, but he is part of our community now. Tell me when you see him on the side of the road.

C.: So, I suppose that, since we’ll both be looking for Meow Z. Tongue, you can’t finish your story, so that’s the end of today’s cat ta(i)le.

Please join us next time for another edition of Cal.E.’s Korner.