d.: I looks like my bottled water has expired. I wonder how water can expire? (Ring) I wonder who that could be? “Hello?” C.: Hi, d.c.,...

C.: d.c., I’m in trouble. d.: Why is that, my fine female feline friend? C.: Because my third husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat...

C.: Well, the Texans play tonight, so d.c. is probably looking for his Texans cap to wear tonight in stead of his Astros’ cap. That must...

C.:  d.c., I thought you wanted to get our blog written early, because you had something important to do this afternoon. What happened?...

C.: d.c., I really do appreciate the way you and my husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who...

C.:  d.c., how is your project coming along? d.: Do you mean replacing the blades of grass that were destroyed by the people at your...

C.: Well, this is a decent speech that d.c. wrote for me, but it doesn’t sound like me.   I’ll just make some tweaks to this speech so...

C.: Oh, hi d.c. Come on in, but I thought that you had a project you were working on.   d.: That got cancelled.   C.: Why? d.: Well, I...

C.: Wow! There must be one million people her to welcome me back home for the Planet of the Talking Cats!   d.: Well, one half of a...

I had the worst reputation in town For chasing all the women around I thought changing my way of living was hard to do But it's nothing...

I used to smoke five packs of cigarettes a day It was the hardest thing to put them away I'd drink four or five bottles of wine I kept a...

d.: Hi, Cal.E. I was just calling to see how the election for Ruler of the Planet of the Talking Cats went. Have all the votes been...

C.: d.c., this is Cal.E., I need to talk to someone who isn’t involved in this campaign.   d.:  Don’t you have a little while before the...

d.: Cal.E. and Ronald Dump are involved in the last debate before the election for Ruler of the Planet of the Talking Cats. Let’s listen...

C.: (ring). I don’t want to answer the phone. It may be one of Ronald Dump’s supporters calling to bless me out…No, that’s Meow Z....

C.: I want to get comfortable here in front of y’all  and be real. I’ll mimic my favorite radio station K-I-N-D for my campaign speech...

C.: I wonder if any other radio stations are carrying the World Series. Very few of them can reach another planet in the solar system,...

C.: Hey, d.c. I think something is wrong with the intergalactic signal on my television /radio.   d.: Why do you say that?   C.: Well, I...

c.: Well, the commercial break on my favorite show, “Nine Lives to Give” is over, and no one important has tried to contact me. I’ll...

Well, I can’t reach Cal.E. with my intergalactic phone. I suppose the way the sun is positioned has something to do with that, so I’ll...