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Cal.E.'s Korner



On a morning from a Bogart movie

In a country where they turn back time

You go strolling through the crowd like Peter Lorre

Contemplating a crime

She comes out of the sun in a silk dress running

Like a watercolor in the rain

Don't bother asking for explanations

She'll just tell you that she cameIn the year of the cat

She doesn't give you time for questions

As she locks up your arm in hers

And you follow 'till your sense of which direction

Completely disappears

By the blue tiled walls near the market stalls

There's a hidden door she leads you to

These days, she says, I feel my life

Just like a river running through

The year of the cat

While she looks at you so cooly

And her eyes shine like the moon in the sea

She comes in incense and patchouli

So you take her, to find what's waiting inside

The year of the cat

Well morning comes and you're still with her

And the bus and the tourists are gone

And you've thrown away your choice you've lost your ticket

So you have to stay on

But the drum-beat strains of the night remain

In the rhythm of the newborn dayY

ou know sometime you're bound to leave her

But for now you're going to stayIn the year of the cat

Year of the cat

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Al Stewart / Peter Wood

Year of the Cat lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

 

d.: (RING) Oh, hi, Cal.E.., I thought that you would have left for your home planet, the Planet of the Talking Cats by now. When are you leaving to run for queen of your home planet against your ex-husband, Tom and make it 'The Year of the Katt?

 

C.: As soon as I finish writing this manuscript.

 

d.: That may take a while. When is the election?

 

C.: It’s tomorrow.


d.: Don’t you need to campaign for the rest of the day, at least?

 

C.: No, d.c. I have a time machine, remember? I can go back in time and campaign for as long as it takes.

 

d.: That sound risky, but this must be a good manuscript. Sometimes a story just grips me, and I must write it down before I forget it. What’s your manuscript about?

 

C.: It’s about a cat who lives in Texas and walks dogs for a living. I named it “KATT:  TEXAS DOG WALKER”.

 

d.: And her human's a detective, and the dogs the cat's walking dig up clues to mysteries that have been unsolved for ten or even twenty years or longer? And the human take credit for solving the cold cases, angering the protagonist so much that she claws the human’s eyeballs out, causing her to bleed to death? But the cat is never caught because she takes the dogs she’s walking into the human’s apartment and gets them to lick up the blood on the carpet and eat the corpse?

 

C.: No, d.c. It’s just about a cat who walks dogs for a living. Isn’t that unusual enough?

 

d.: No, not really. Cal.E. are you avoiding going back to your home planet for some reason?

 

C.: Well, Tom and Meow Z. Tongue, the Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy, did ban me from the Cart Galaxy and warn me never to return under penalty of death, so there’s that. Also, I’m not sure that I can win the election, because Tom has been a good leader. What do I have to offer my home planet, since I haven’t been there in three years?

 

d.: It sounds like you’re suffering from “imposter syndrome,” my fine feline friend.

 

c.: No, d.c. My name really is Calculating Einstein Katt- for now. I’ll need to change that and grow some facial hair when I get to my home planet to disguise myself.

 

d.: What are you going to change your name to, may I ask?

 

C.: “None of the Above.” That way, everyone who’s dissatisfied with the choices on the ballet will vote for me.

 

d.; That may actually work. A presidential candidate may try that on this planet and win, too.

 

C.:  What's imposter syndrome?

 

d.: It’s when someone feels as if s/he isn’t good enough to occupy the position s/he seeks, or already possesses. It’s common among humans.

 

C.: That does sound like me. Do you have any words of advice?

 

d.: Yes. Remember the famous words of John Collins when he thought about quitting the race he and his wife developed.

 

C.: Which are?

 

d.: “There is a point where it would be okay to quit, everywhere but in the back of your mind. At that point, if you go on and finish you win. If you quit, you lose. It’s that simple.”

 

C.: Yes, I recognize that quote from your manuscript BEYOND THE THRITEENTH MILE: THE IRON MAN CHRONICLES. Maybe, though I should read the whole story before I run for office on my home planet.

 

d.: I guess that’s all the time we have for today, then. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.

 

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