Cal.E.'s Korner

Live from Cut-N-Shoot Texas, it’s the Joe Groan Show here on KIND/KING Conroe Cut-N-Shoot, the number one-hundred and fifth rated radio station in the northeast corner of Southeast Texas. And now, here’s your host, Joe Groan!

JG: Oh, oh, oh!! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! The Animal Olympics are here, and there’s a lot going on and a lot of people to see it.

In the building once proclaimed the Eight Wonder of the World, the Houston Astrodome.

The two tortoises in the ten-kilometer run are rounding the last curve and heading for the homestretch.

After five long days, another heat may be able to begin in a couple of days.

In the cat fighting events,

one of the cofavorites, the space cat, the Electrifying, Lively, Awesome Cat fighter known as ELAC

got through her whole bracket to meet the other cofavorite, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken.

In a stunning turn of events, ELAC conceded the match to T because she suddenly remembered that she was a pacifist, despite being the cat fighting champion of three different galaxies.

There is no bulldogging event this year,

due to a successful protest by the American Association of Bulldog Lovers. The AABL was led by none other than ELAC, but she has another mission in mind now.

After the team dog roping event

was successfully eliminated by the AABL, as well as the bareback dog riding event,

it left only one premier event to watch, the Pong tournament, and this is a story for the ages, folks.

In the intergalactic division, ELAC is tearing through the competition like so much paper to shred. And, in the Earth division, T is doing the same. These two are on a collision course to meet once again. Whichever cat wins the match between these two cats will, in all likelihood, be deemed the “Best All-Around Animal,” but there’s more to the story than that.

After ELAC conceded the cat fighting championship to T, he pledged to commit all his winnings to ELAC’s favorite charity. In a show of sportsmanship, ELAC promised to do the same for T if she won the Pong tournament as was declared the all-around best animal. This will be a match for the ages, folks.

So, even though that’s the end of today’s cat ta(i)le,

Join us tomorrow and find out if the ASPCS or the Intergalactic Animal Organization will be the beneficiary of the one-mew-illion dollar prize for “Bes All-Around Animal, right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.