Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door All the departed, dear loved ones of mine And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
d.: Well, we didn’t need to cancel the blog, because we’re both still alive. I do need to make a phone call, though. Can I use your phone, Cal.E., since I’m still waiting on a call from a literally agent?
C.: Okay, go ahead.
d.: Yes, I know the payment for my one dollar per year gym membership fee is late. It’s supposed to be an automatic draft, but I filled out the form by hand. I suppose that my handwriting is too illegible for anyone else to decipher, so I’ll just give the the information over the phone. I’ll even pay the late fee. How much is it? $1,152.26 for being twelve hours late with my payment? Is this a scam?
No, sir. I assure you that this is not a scam. You can trust me, I promise. Now, just give me your credit card number…
(honk, honk, honk)
d.: I’ll need to call you back. There’s a disturbance outside, and I need to go check it out.
“Cal.E., what’s going on?”
C.: Well, the two off duty animal control officers we hired to arrest Meow Z. Tongue when we intice him here are arguing over the one handicapped parking space in front of Wayne Manor.
d.: (Wayne Manor has a handicapped parking space?) Why are the arguing over one spot when you can park twenty cars in front of this house?
C.: Well, it looks like they both have legitimate gripes because one is in a wheelchair and the other animal control officer is on a walker.
d.: So, we hired two animal control officers who may not be able to catch a turtle, much less a powerful, giant alien cat?
C.: Yes, it would seem as though we may need another plan.
d.: It would seem so. What do you want to do, Cal.E.?
C.: Well, we could…no that won’t work, and that’s too risky. I know, we could, no, that won’t work either. Do you have any ideas, d.c.?
d.: I do, but we’re out of time for today. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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