Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
C.: d.c., why do you look so down?
d.: Incompetence.
C.: Well, you may not be perfect, but I wouldn’t refer to you as being incompetent.
d.: Not mine, other peoples.' Twice today I’ve had to deal with people whose companies have made mistakes. Right now, I feel as though I’ve been dropkicked through the uprights of life.
As a former service worker, I was taught how to handle these situations. As the last line of defense and the only person most people ever saw from my employer, I was usually the one that had to deal with whatever problem was being presented, whether it was my mistake or someone else’s that I worked with.
C. How were you trained to handle it?
d.: First, apologize for the inconvenience. Then, do whatever I can to help correct or, at least ease the situation. If I couldn’t handle the situation, then I contacted my supervisor. That doesn’t seem to be the way customer service representatives are trained now, though.
C.: What do the human customer service representatives do now?
d.: As far as I can tell, as little as possible. Whoever is training these people now needs some training themselves. It takes threats and yelling most of the time to get anything done, which I don’t like to do.
I always think that it’s better to try to find a palatable solution with cool heads, but most of us get ignored when we try that technique. And, now that I’m older, my patience has waned. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with someone who isn’t interested in doing his or her job properly.
How did y’all deal with these problems on your native planet, Cal.E.?
C.: We didn’t have those problems on The Planet of the Talking Cats.
d.: Because everyone was competent and knew how to do their jobs properly?
C.: No, we just all did whatever our leader, Meow Z. Tongue told us to do. That avoided a lot of complications and hard feelings…
d.: But didn’t allow for free thinking or developing problem solving skills. That, I think, is our problem now on this planet. Everyone just does whatever his or her phone tells him or her to do in a certain situation, without thinking the problem through. If we aren’t careful, we may end up like your former planet and have one leader who makes all the decisions for the whole world.
C.: And then what would happen?
d.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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