Cal.E.'s Korner

d.: So, Cal.E., we haven’t talked much lately due to my schedule. Do you have any words of wisdom for our readers today?

C.: I do.

d.: ,,,Okay, let’s hear them.

C.: Well, Confounded Cat

once said, “ It is good to be wise between your ears. It is better by far to be a cat.”

d.: Come again?

C.: It is good…

d.: I heard you, but who is Confounded Cat?

C.: He was the founder of our planet. The story of how our planet came to be is an interesting one, to be sure.

d.: Would you like to tell us that story?

C.: I would.

d.: ….Like now?

C.: Oh, okay. Confounded Cat was the only pet of the richest man on Earth…well, maybe not the richest, maybe the second richest,,,,

No, scratch that. He wasn’t a billionaire, just a humble multimillionaire, so maybe he was in the top ten…no, probably in the top one hundred for sure….

d.: Okay, if it was a long time ago, being a multimillionaire would make him an extraordinarily rich man. Please continue with the story.

C.:Well, as I said, Confounded Cat was the only pet of a poor, almost penniless multimillionaire…

d.: Penniless?

C.: Yes. Have you ever heard of a multipenionare?

d.: Just tell the story, please.

C.: Okay, so, as Counfed Cat's human was relxing in his easy chair

Confounded Cat was sitting in his human’s lap when he had a dream that he was in a fight with a scoundrel, a dog!!

a dog? Where?

So, he began to scratch and claw at the closest thing to him, his human’s….

d.: Remember, Cal.E., this is a family-oriented blog.

C.: Okay, Confounded Cat scratched his human’s legs so badly that the human couldn’t walk, so he was angry with Confounded Cat. Connie’s (as we sometimes call him) human didn’t want Confounded Cat to live with him any more after that, and he thought that any human who may adopt Confounded Cat would have the same issue with him. Well, Connie’s human didn’t believe in euthanasia, so he bought a rocket ship

and sent Connie into space.

Connie landed on my home planet, where he discovered his voice. Soon, other cats’ humans were growing tired of their cat’s antics, so they also sent them into space, where each landed on the Planet of the Talking Cats, where they could talk. Confounded Cat ruled the planet with an iron fist. He made all the residents of his planet adopt his last name. That’s where my last name comes from.

d.: I thought you spelled your last name K-A-T-T.

C.: I do. Confounded Cat went into the witness protection program when his regime was overthrown by his archrival, Meow Z. Tongue.

Connie thought that changing the spelling of his last name would keep him safe.

d.: So, that’s why you were the queen of your planet, because you were a direct descendant of the founder of your planet, Confounded C(K)att... Did your first husband, King Tom,

marry you so he could become king of your planet by marrying you?

C.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks, so that’s the end of this cat ta(i)le. Please join us next time for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.