Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: d.c., why are you calling me so early?

d.: It’s mid-morning, Cal.E.

C.: And I’m a cat, so this is like calling a person at midnight.

d.:  Oh, yes. I suppose I’m just still disoriented from my trip to the giant convenience store just outside of our neighborhood.

C.: What happened?

d.: Well, I’ve had this persistent cough for a few weeks now, so I wanted to make my special tea to get rid of it. One of the key ingredients is honey, but I don’t buy that on a regular basis, so I sought out an employee to help me find it.

C.: And then what happened?

d.: Well, I was in a hurry, but she was nice. She asked me if she could help me find something, so I said, “Yes, honey.”

So, she said, “What is it, Sugar?”

d.: I said, no, I’m a happily married man. I’m just looking for some…

At about that time, our neighbor, the drummer for Z.Z. Top, walked by with his phone playing one of his group’s more popular songs. In a lot of ways, that's the most expensive honey I've ever bought.….

C.: I get the picture now. That would explain your disorientation to time, if not person, place, and situation. Anyway, I’m already awake, so  what did you want to talk about today?

d..: Well, Cal.E., I enjoyed your cat  ta(i)le

of how your planet came to be yesterday, but there are some key elements of the story you left out.

C.: Like what?

d.: Well, for one, were all the cats’ humans who were sent into space to land on your planet multimillionaires? If not, how did the humans afford to send their cats into space?

Another thing is, you said that Meow Z. Tongue’s

regime overthrew Confounded Cat’s regime to take control of the planet. And he seems to still be in power, so how were you considered royalty if your ancestor’s regime was not in power on the planet? And did King Tom

really marry you to become king of the planet, or were you two in love? Also, if you were in the direct line to take control of the planet, how could King Tom kick you off the planet into outer space, never to return to your home planet? That would mean that you never saw your foster parents again.

If you had the power of royal lineage, then wouldn’t you be able to overturn King Tom’s and Meow Z. Tongue’s edict to kick you off the planet?

C.: Those are all excellent questions, d.c., and I’ll answer them all in my upcoming book, THE KENNEL

d.: Oh, when is that scheduled to come out?

C.: As soon as you write it.

d.:???

c.: d.c., what is your title for this website?

d.: Owner, blogger, author….I’d better get started right away, then. This will be my masterpiece. This will be my the third most read book of all time, just behind the Holy Bible and Gone With the Wind.

No, wait, there were the Iliad and the Odyssey, so maybe the fifth, not there’s the Quran, so maybe this sixth…no, there’s also all the John Grisham and the James Ptterson books, and also the Agatha Chrity mysteries; not to mention Stephen King’s books…It will definitely be in the top one million, six-hundred thousand range, so I’d better get started.

C.: So, I suppose that’s all the time we have for today, folks, so that's the end of this cat ta(i)le.

Please join us next time for another edition of Cal.E.’s Korner.