Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before mine
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
In an undisclosed location in Greater Houston, T is training his wife, Cal.E. Katt for a tag team cat fight. Since he holds championship belts in five different heavy weight categories of cat fighting, T is trying to teach Cal.E. some of his techniques
Tux: Okay, Cal.E., while I work on the speed bag, I want you to work on your foot work. I want you to bob, weave dance and move!
C.: (What does bob Weaver’s dance moves have to do with cat fighting?) T., we all know how the script goes. You’re going to throw one punch, and the match will be over. Then the announcer will interview you, and you’ll act like a disinterested heel who’s too good to answer any of his questions. Can’t we just skip the training and go out for some delicious fish? Certainly there’s a fish market around here, because it stinks so good!
T.: No, Cal.E. That smell that you’re enjoying is the smell of other cat fighter’s blood, sweat and tears…
C.: So, now your telling me that a rock band from the 1970s has trained here? I don’t think that they’re in good enough shape to fight any cats, especially not you.
T.: (tweet) Drop and give me twenty pushups now now now!!! You will refer to me as “trainer, sir” while we are engaged in training. While we’re training to defend our tag team belt, I am not your husband! I am your worst nightmare, a cat with a whistle. No more sarcastic jokes about ancient rock bands from your friend, d.c. scot’s era. We must out wit, out train, out run and out smart the competition. ARE WE CLEAR?!!
C.: Crystal, trainer, sir. Now, about that fish. We’ll need the protein to recover from this brutal workout, and fish has both protein and high-quality fat. Some studies say that using protein to train on is a better way to go than to use simple or even complex carbohydrates, so why don’t we go get some fish now, and continue this workout at a later date that works for both of us?
T.: ( tweet) That will cost you twenty laps around the gym, trainee. Any more comments?
C.: Sir, no, sir. Please stop blowing that cat whistle and I’ll do anything you say.
T.: Good. Now give me those twenty pushups and twenty laps and report to the center ring to spar with the five-time cat heavy weight fighting champion of the world!
C.: Yes, trainer, sir! (I’ll get even with my husband for making me feel as if I’ve been dropkicked through the uprights of life. When he least expects it. I’ll…)
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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