[Verse 2]
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
Jackie sits back, collects his thoughts for the moment
"Well then, there Diane, we oughta run off to the city"
Diane says, "Baby, you ain't missin' a thing"
[Chorus]
Long after the thrill of livin' is gone"
Oh yeah, they say life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin' is gone
[Bridge]
[Chorus]
[Outro]
A little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane
Two American kids doin' the best they can contributors
Despite John ‘Cougar’ Me
d.: I wonder why Cal.e. hasn’t called me and told me what she wants me to do to help her save the world?
Just down the street in Wayne Manor,, Cal.E. is thinking…
C.: Meow Z. Tongue is a powerful cat. He can take over the world by himself, but he wants my help. I must prevent him from doing this, but how?
Well, when my mind is stuck, I like to watch my favorite daytime soap opera, “Nine Lives to Give.” That helps clear my mind. Fortunately for me, it’s on right now. All I must do is find all sixteen remote controls to turn on T’s 96’ large screen television. I think it’s on channel eight. Yes, there it is.
Now, let’s see. The patriarch of the lead family, Jack, is on his death bed in his ninth life, so he wants to make some deathbed confessions to his family to clear his conscious. That’s why he’s talking to his youngest son from this life, Dak.
Jack was married in his first life to Diane, but they got divorced after he blabbed to all his friends about their love affair that happened while they were in obedience school in the Midwest. She didn’t know about him betraying he trust until one of his friends wrote a song about it and made a lot of money from selling it to a popular singing cat, John Mellencat. He formerly went by the name John Panther, but he hated that name, so he went back to his birth name after he became rich from the popularity of that one song.
Jack and Diane divorced after they had twelve kitten, though. In his second life, Jack married Jill, who was the veterinary assistant who helped the veterinarian take care of him after he fell down a hill and busted his crown. She came tumbling after him, but didn’t suffer any consequences from the fall. Poor Jack, though, had to have forty-two stitches to sew his head back together. They had fourteen kittens, like me, before Jack passed on to his third life. In that life, he met and married Betty, and they had sixteen kittens. In lives four through eight, Jack married Brenda, then Beyonce, Bertha, Bertrand, and Bridget. In his ninth life, Jack married his true love, Gertrude, and they had four kittens. In all, Jacked sired one hundred kittens. Unfortunately, Gertrude died when Jack was in his mid-teens. He was so broken-hearted that he never married again. He turned to eating catnip, but stopped when his kittens did an intervention for him. When he got cancer, though, his vet prescribed him medical catnip, and now he’s addicted to it again. He’s telling his youngest son about his misdeeds in his ninth life as this episode begins.
Jack: “Son, come closer. I must tell you something. Dak, you have a brother.
Dak: Yes, father, I know. He was the oldest kitten in our family, so he helped you raise me when I was a kitten. He also had a jo, buthe couldn't tell a soul what it was.
J.: Then, did you know that you have two sisters?
D,: Yes, father. They cooked and washed clothes after Jeremy got a job to help with expenses because you were too strung out on catnip to catch our food for us. Jenny and Penny then turned to other ways to make money. They both became housecats for old ladies.
J.: Well, you might want to sit down for this one, Dak. I am your father!
D. Yes, I know. That’s why I’m here at your bedside as you’re dying and I keep calling you “father.” You weren’t around much when I was a kitten, but I suppose that you did the best you could for my brother, my sisters and me.
J.: Then my conscious is clear. I can die in peace now…maybe now? Or now?
D.: Father, your contract isn’t up for six more months, so I’m thinking that the producers will keep you alive until it expires. Maybe you’ll expire then, or maybe you'll sign your contract and make a miraculous recovery.
C.: (click) Well, that’s interesting, but I still don’t know what to do about Meow Z. Tongue…Eureka, that’s it! I’ll…
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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