Cal.E.'s Korner

Live from Cut-N-Shoot Texas, it’s the Joe Groan Show here on KIND/KING Conroe Cut-N-Shoot, the number one-hundred and fifth rated radio station in the northeast corner of Southeast Texas. And now, here’s your host, Joe Groan!

JG:  Oh, oh, oh!! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! The Animal Olympics are here, and we’re here at the Houston Astrodome,

once deemed The Eighth Wonder of the World. The city council has found a use for this building that was abandoned twenty-five years ago, and it’s paying off! The crowd is the largest ever to witness any Olympic games of any description. It’s been estimated that 500,000 people

had been through the turnstiles to watch their favorite animals perform. That’s quite a difference from a year ago, when this event was known as the Cat Olympics, and it was sparsely attended.

One cat, though, is trying to make the correct decision as to which event she will enter. ELAC is the best intergalactic cat fighter of all time, and she was set to square off against six-time WACKO Cat Fighting champion, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T, Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by his tag-team partner, Tom the Tabby).

As the two cats were set to square off, ELAC remembered her true nature. As a pacifist, she said that she could not participate in a cat fight for sport. Although she holds the record for most cat fighting victories in three different galaxies, she said that all those fights had been staged to save a planet or a whole galaxy. Having traveled 17,000 light years to participate in these games, though, ELAC feels she must find another event in which to compete; and it looks like she’s found it.

ELAC: Yes, this is the purrfect event to enter! It’s nonviolent but requires skill as well as cat-quick reflexes. It’s challenging without being discouraging. It’s a contest to see who the greatest player of the greatest video game of all time is. I shall enter…. THE PONG TOURNAMENT!!

d.: Well, that’s the end of today’s cat ta(i)le.

Please join us tomorrow to find out who ELAC’s opponents will be, right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.

Please join us tomorrow to find out who ELAC’s opponents will be, right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.