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Writer's picturemarkmiller323

Cal.E.'s Korner




If Heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I don't wanna go

If Heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I'd just as soon stay home

verse

I was one of the chosen few to be born in Alabam'

I'm just like my Daddy's son

I'm proud of who I am

I went through a lot of good women

And shook old Jim Beam's hand

If I never see the Pearly Gates

I've walked through the promised land

chorus

If Heaven ain't a lot like Dixie I don't wanna go

If Heaven ain't a lot like Dixie I'd just as soon stay home

If they don't have a Grand Ole Opry like they do in Tennessee

Just send me to Hell or New York City

It would be about the same to me

verse

I've got wild honey trees and crazy little weeds

Growin' around my shack

These dusty roads ain't streets of gold

But I'm a happy right where I'm at

All these pretty little southern belles are a country boy's dream

They ain't got wings or halos but they're sure looking good to me

chorus

If Heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I don't wanna go

If Heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I'd just as soon stay home

If they don't have a Grand Ole Opry like they do in Tennessee

Just send me to Hell or New York City

It would be about the same to me

chorus

If Heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I don't wanna go

If Heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I'd just as soon stay home

If Heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I don't wanna go

If Heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I'd just as soon stay home

If they don't have a Grand Ole Opry like they do in Tennessee

Just send me to Hell or New York City

It would be about the same to me



d.: CAl.E., I just got a text. You’ll need to find your cousin, ELAC, yourself.




You and she will need to save the world without me. I need to be in Washington, D.C. by tomorrow,



C.: Where are you going when you get there?


d.: The White House.


C.: (Wow, that person d.c. saved yesterday must have been a V.I.P. if he needs to go to the White House now. He may be getting an accommodation from the president, for all I know.)  Okay, d.c. Have a good trip.


d.: Let’s see, yes, here’s my travel agent’s number. Hello, yes, I need to book a flight from Bakersfield, California to Whanington, D.C.


Yes, I can do that on a major airline carrier with only one stop.


d.: Where is the stop?

Laguardia Airport in New York City.


d.:Oh, no! I’m never doing that again. I got stuck in NYC for two days the last time I went through that airport trying to go south from there.. Is there any other way?


Well, I can book you on Spirit Airlines to St. Louis. Then you can take Frontier Airlines to Morgantown, West Virginia. From there, you will need to take Jet Blue Airlines to Reagan International Airport. That will take seventeen hours, and going through La Guardia will take half that long…


d.: I’ll take it. Reagan international is just where I need to be.


Okay, Mr. scot. I’ll book it.


C.: Tune in tomorrow, folks, and see why d.c. had to go the Washington as quickly as would get there.


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