Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
C.: Well, the election for queen of my home planet, The Planet of the Talking Cats is today, and I missed it. I did that on purpose, because my ex-husband on that planet, Tom, has been a good and benevolent leader for many cat naps. If I’d run against him, the voters would have made me feel as if I’d been drop kicked through the goal posts of life. That’s why I won’t use my time machine and go back in time to campaign, or to legally change my name to “None of the Above” so that I could win the election. Tom would probably still win even if I did that. That’s especially true since it’s illegal on that planet to vote for anyone else, per the orders of The Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy, Meow Z. Tongue. Now, I can get back to what I was doing yesterday- if I can remember what that was.
Oh, yes. I was writing a manuscript for Katt: Dog Walker. I think d.c. was correct, though. It does need some jazzing up, so I’ll give it a try. I'll dictate to my husband, T,, and he can type it. That will leave me free to think.
Katt: Texas Dog Walker
It was raining hard in Houston, but I had one more pup to walk. She was my least favorite dog client, but I must do my job, I surmised. I rang the doorbell and my next-door neighbor answered with his standard poodle, T. Puppy Katt already harnessed and ready to walk.
I was glad of that because she can be a handful to get harnessed.
But why was this true? She was a year-old pup by now, so she should have settled down a bit. My first instinct I quickly nixed. d.c. scot loves animals, especially dogs. He would never abuse an innocent puppy. But there still were some unanswered questions running through my head. The first was “Why was d.c.’s latest idea for a television series nixed?” “The Equal,” a series about a sugar substitute, should have been a hit.
That series was about a chemist who substituted cyanide for artificial sweeteners. He’d put such a minute amount in each packet, though, that it couldn’t be detected. The victim would need to eat several packets before enough built up in his or her system to kill the victim. The doses were so small and spread out, though, that they couldn’t be detected by the medical examiner. Strangely, the same thing was happening in our neck of the woods.
I knew that d.c. is a nurse and has a strong background in chemistry since he’d switched careers from another field that had required him to have a good background in chemistry; but did my next-door neighbor and best human friend have that kind of meanness in him? And why would he target people who were trying to lose weight by not eating sugar? None of this made any sense to me. Fortunately, I’d had to learn Dogma to hold my present job. I knew what I must do.
I took T. Puppy Katt to the park and began to pump her for answers, but all she wanted to do was play with the other dogs and people at the park. She wouldn’t answer any of my questions, even though I knew that she understood every word I said. Discouraged, I decided to take her back to her house after she “did her business” and I’d cleaned it up. When we got to the scot’s house, the pretty pup suddenly stopped and began to dig furiously in the front yard. Could this be the answer to all the questions I had? What was T. Puppy so excited about. I’d know in just a few minutes…
D.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner
HEY!! Katt! Get out of my front yard; and stop that ding dang dog from digging!
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