Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
d.: We can contact your thirty-third cousin twice removed from the planet HTRAE. ELAC is one of the best fighters in the universe, even though she’s a pacifist by nature.
C.: That’s a good idea, d.c. However, ELAC is fighting the fires in California right now, and she doesn’t have cell phone reception where she’s staying. We’ll need to get on a plane and travel to California on the busiest travel day of the year. I’m sorry, d.c., I know that you’re claustrophobic and hate to be in large crowds.
d.: I’m not claustrophobic, Cal.E., I just don’t like other people very much. When they get into my personal space, I get jittery. I feel as if I’ve been dropkicked through the uprights of life when that happens. However, we must save the world. If it is to be, it’s up to you and me..we have no other choice…
C.: Okay, d.c. I got the tickets by using T’s credit card and his frequent flyer miles. We can even go through the rapid rewards line and be on the plane in an hour, if we hurry.
d.: How will we get to the airport in less than an hour?
C.: With T.’s car. It’s really fast, and it’s so small that no cop will see us. You might be a little uncomfortable, but it’s a sacrifice worth making.
d.: Especially since we have another choice. If the world ends, I won’t have a job to go to or a yard to take care of anymore.
C.: GET IN!!
Later, at the airport
C.: Well, we made it through the TSA line and to our gate…but look at that guy, he needs help.
d.: Sir, sir, are you okay? Can you speak or breathe? There’s no peripheral or apical pulse, and he’s not breathing. Cal.E, get me the defibrillator stat!
C.: Well, we made it through the TSA line and to our gate…but look at that guy, he needs help.
C.: GET IN!!
Later, at the airport
C.: Well, we made it through the TSA line and to our gate…but look at that guy, he needs help.
d.: Sir, sir, are you okay? Can you speak or breathe? There’s no peripheral or apical pulse, and he’s not breathing. Cal.E, get me the defibrillator stat!
C.: Here, d.c.
d.: Thanks, Cal.E. I’ve already done two cycles of CPR on him, with no response. Stand clear everyone!!
Shock Advised. Please push red button now
Cough, cough. What happened? I was just standing here and started to have severe chest pains. I can’t remember what happened, but i feel much better now. Thank you masked man.
d.: I am the difibirlator.*
*KIds, don’t try this at home. I’m a highly-trained professional
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