Cal.E.'s Korner

d.: Well, Cal.E is late again. I hope she hasn’t met with a cat-astrophe…No, there she is running across the field to my house..

“Cal.E., why are you late today?”

C.: Oh, you know, T and I have been training together, and, well, we got caught up in the things that married cats do…

d.: Oh, please don’t go any further with that thought. I don’t want to have the image of you and your third husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. the Cat Fighter Formerly Known As the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken and you….

C.: Darning socks, doing laundry, folding sheets, mending mittens and performing other mundane household chores. What’s wrong with that?

d.: Well, nothing, I thought you were talking about doing something else.

C.: Like what?

d.: Never mind. I thought that T was loaded, so why hasn’t he hired someone to help with those mundane chorres?

C.: He has, but Wayne Manor is huge, and not too many cats or people want to do that kind of work. Bertha is as old as you are, so she can’t do a lot, but she does show up for work each day..eventually.

d.: Well, women my age are working at jobs that are as hard or harder than being a maid at Wayne Manor and surviving, so that shouldn’t be the case.

Anyway, why are y’all mending mittens and darning socks when t has enough money to buy new ones when the old ones wear out.

C.:d.c., how do you think T has so much money?

d.: I thought he took protection money from other cats to keep him and Tom the Tabby from beating them up.

C.: Well, yes, but then he diversified his portfolio into the domestic and foreign market. He took the second best option on commodities when he bought and sold the simultaneously and then he went to Las Vegas and put all his earnings on black on the roulette wheel.

d.: If he won, that would only double what he’d made.

C.: Not if he kept playing.

d.: Most people quit when they double their money. That’s a smart way to hgamble.

C.: Not if you have help.

d.: ???

C.: Well, you know how small Tom is.

d.: Yes, but what does that have to do with T gambling?

C.: Tom could sneak in without anyone seeing him. He hid under the roulette table, and when T yelled ‘Come on black!’ he stopped the wheel on black. That way, T was assured of winning.

d.: Did anyone catch on?

C.: Well, they were smart enough not to go to the same casino every night. They would divvy up their winnings each night and then go to a different casino. They always left when the casino workers gos suspicious, though.

d.: I guess, if the game is rigged, then gabling isn’t gambling.

C.: No, it’s investing. That’s how Tom and T became so wealthly.

d.: And then they went into cat fighting and did well, because they rigged that, too. They get a lot of money to hold fights when they already know how the match will end.  Hmm, Cal.E., do you have access to T’s scripts for his cat fights with Tom?

C.: Script? There is no script. There cat fights are as real as this blog! Talking cats and dogs exist, and cats can fly spacecraft! Those cat fights are as real as the conversations we have in this blog!

d.: Well, we’re out of time for today, so that’s the end of today’s cat ta(i)le.

Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.