RALPH: Happy Near Year, Mom!
C.: Like my friend, d.c. scot, I don’t really celebrate New Year’s, Ralph.
RALPH: Why is that, Mom?
C.: Because, Ralph, when I was forced to leave my home planet, I studied the habits of the planets I would be allowed to move to by my first husband, the kingo of POTT-C. I studied this planet’s traditions, and decided that it would be the best place to move too.
RALPH: Why is that, Mom? And how do you know so much about it? Can you read?
C.: Of course I can read. I come from royalty. I can even speak two languages, English and Catonese! And, the habits and traditions of the beings that control this planet told me that the humans would be easy to manipulate. New Year’s is a good example of their ignorance. Here’s what Encyclopedia Britannica’s website has to say about starting the new year during the winter, when it would make more sense to start it on the first day of spring, or, at least, during the beginning of a lunar cycle. Only the Chinese do that.
Why Does the New Year Start on January 1?
By Amy Tikkanen
© siwawut/Shutterstock.com
In many countries the New Year begins on January 1. However, this wasn’t always the case. In fact, for centuries, other dates marked the start of the calendar, including March 25 and December 25. So how did January 1 become New Year’s Day?
We can partly thank the Roman king Numa Pompilius. According to tradition, during his reign (c. 715–673 BCE) Numa revised the Roman republican calendar so that January replaced March as the first month. It was a fitting choice, since January was named after Janus, the Roman god of all beginnings; March celebrated Mars, the god of war. (Some sources claim that Numa also created the month of January.) However, there is evidence that January 1 was not made the official start of the Roman year until 153 BCE.
In 46 BCE Julius Caesar introduced more changes, though the Julian calendar, as it became known, retained January 1 as the year’s opening date. With the expansion of the Roman Empire, the use of the Julian calendar also spread. However, following the fall of Rome in the 5th century CE, many Christian countries altered the calendar so that it was more reflective of their religion, and March 25 (the Feast of the Annunciation) and December 25 (Christmas) became common New Year’s Days.
RALPH: So New Year’s here on earth has nothing to do with a lunar cycle, or the dawn of better weather for the planet. Maybe I should just say “Happy random day of the year?”
C.: It is a good excuse to eat catnip, though…
Happy New Year, Y'all
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