C.: Hey d.c. I have some questions about the animals here on Earth.
d.: Just one minute, Cal.E. I’ve gotta ride this horse down *( lyrics to the song Ride ‘Em High, Ride ‘Em Low; Brooks and Dunn, from the soundtrack to the movie 8 Seconds; circa 1994)
C.: What‘s with the asterisk, d.c. Are you afraid of getting in trouble with the farce checkers again?
d.: No, Cal.E. I always do my research before I put anything in this blog. I just believe in giving artists credit for their material. It is a common courtesy.
What questions did you have, Cal.E.?
C.: Well, as I said before: A horse is a horse, of course of course
d.: And no one can talk to a horse, of course
C.: You never heard of a talking horse? Well, listen to this….
bum be deah bum ba deah
d.: I told you, Cal.E., Earth horses CAN NOT talk!
C.: I am Cal.E. Kat. I will teach this horse to talk, sing, dance, play cards, and do the hokey pokey.
d.: That’s not how the song goes.
C.: What song?
d.: The song that opens the old television show, “Mr. Ed.” It is a show about a talking horse.
C.: Oh? An Earth horse who talks?
d.: Mr. Ed could NOT talk. The show's producers put peanut butter in his mouth so that he would move his lips. They then dubbed his lines with a human voice.
C.: Why would a horse want to eat another horse’s hooves?
d.: IDK, Cal.E. I don’t eat peanut butter, either. Not because of the ingredients, I just don’t like it.
C.: That makes sense. Peanut butter has no smell, so I do not think it would taste very good.
d.c., what is the name of the horse I am riding?
d.: Ed two, Mayday.
C.: Are you in distress, d.c.?
d.: No, Cal.E. That is the horse’s full name. Your dad’s dad named him after Mr. Ed, the talking horse, but NOT because he can talk. It was because of his coloring. Both he and the original Mr. Ed are dapple grays. That is the reason he is named Ed two. The second part is a clever way for your dad’s dad to keep up with his livestock date of birth. Your horse was born on May first. That is called Mayday here on Earth.
C.: If it is a day of the month, why do people use the term “mayday” to indicate that s/he is in distress? Where did that come from? And what does the dapple mean in “dapple gray coloring of a horse?”
d.: I have no idea about any of those questions, Cal.E. There is no service for our phones out here, either. I guess these will remain some of the great mysteries of life.
C.: Well, I will dapple with this horse and make him talk! Let me dismount and see if I can see what is wrong with his mouth. OUCH!! He bit me right on the nose!! That REALLY hurt!
d.: Yes, your horse is a gelding, Cal.E.
C.: AND?!
d.: You never heard the expression, “Don’t look a gelded horse in the mouth?
C.: I thought the expression was, “Don’t look a GIFT horse in the mouth!”
d.: Why would anyone say that? If the ancient men of Troy had looked their gift horse, the Trojan horse, in the mouth, they would have seen Greek soldiers waiting to attack their city. It was the only way the Greeks knew to get into the practically impenetrable city of Troy.
C.: Well, d.c. I am through with the horseplay. I reckon we oughta mosey back to the bunkhouse and take a nap before we go to work tonight.
d.: Yes, we are on the happy trail back to the barn, Cal.E.
Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here's a happy one for you.
Happy trails to you,
Until we meet again.
Happy trails to you,
Keep smiling until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song, and bring the sunny weather.
Happy trails to you,
Until we meet again.
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Dale Evans
Happy Trails lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
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