C.: Hey, d.c., I have a question for you.
d.: What do you need to know, Cal.E?
C.: Well, I asked Tucker to have Easter lunch with my fourteen kittens and me since T.J. has the three day weekend off. Tucker said that, in light of recent developments, he thinks we should “take a break.” What does that mean, d.c.? I’m not from this planet, so I’m not well-versed in subtle innuendos.
d.: Well, I’m glad you came to me with that question first, Cal.E….
C.: I didn’t, d.c. I asked my mom and dad, all fourteen of my kittens, all of my co-workers and the cat next door. None of them knew what that term meant.
d.: Okay, let me get my notes from the seminar I gave at my church a couple of weeks ago… Okay, does Tucker get along with all of your kittens?
C.: Famously.
d.: Well, maybe he doesn’t like what you’re serving for lunch. What would that be?
C.: Hasenpfeffer and eggs.
d.: You’re having rabbit and eggs on Easter Sunday?
C.: Yes, why?
d.: Well, it’s a traditional belief that a bunny brings eggs to the kids on Easter Sunday…
C.: Oh, that makes sense. Now I feel terrible.
d.: Because of what you’re serving?
C.: That, and the fact that I think I killed the Easter Bunny.
d.: Cal.E., it’s a myth. The Easter Bunny doesn’t really exist…
C.: Then why did this big rabbit come hopping into our house with a big basket of eggs? I thought it was an intruder, so I attacked him. I’m charged with protecting the house now that Buddy Bones has moved on to another realm. I guess I have a good knowledge of anatomy now from working at The Kennel, so I went right for the jugular vein. The rabbit dropped his basket and keeled over dead! The eggs were delicious and brightly colored. Some even tasted like chocolate. I found a recipe for rabbit stew in one of Mom’s cookbooks and boiled the bunny…
d.: Okay, I found my notes. “To take a break from a relationship:” When two individuals in a relationship either agree mutually or one of the two decides unilaterally not to see each other for an undetermined, unspecified period of time.
C.: So, if it’s an undetermined, unspecified period of time, how will I know when our break is over?
d.: Well…
C.: You don’t know either, do you d.c.?
d.: No, Cal.E, I really don’t.
C.; d.c., have you ever had to take a break from one of your relationships?
d.: Oh, yes…
C.: What was the longest break you had to take in a relationship, if you don’t mind my asking.
d.: Five years…
C.: Five years?! I’ll be on my next life by then! I must do something to win Tucker back! Should I drop a ton of love letters on his lawn? Write him a love song and stand underneath his window and play it for him over and over until he agrees to marry me? I know, that’s exactly what I’ll do. I'll...
d.: Well, we’re out of time for today, folks, tune it tomorrow and see if Cal.E.’s plan works, or if she and Tucker are doomed to spend all nine of their lives separately.
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