Tux.: Geez Louise. I taught I had ten seconds. I did da calculations over an’ over in ma head, and I taught I had ten more seconds ta land dat punch.
Tom: What do you want to do now?
Tux.: I’ll just need to land da ‘haymaker’ an’ end dis fight. I tink dat d.c. scot has too much incluence over dis fight fir me ta win on da point system. I just gotta knock da purtty cat out, dats all. I'll keep warm between rounds. I still got ten seconds of frustration to ta woirk off.
C.: I can’t go on, d.c. I don’t have the stamina to last another round with him. I guess I should have trained harder.
d. the trainer: If you’re sure, I’ll throw in the towel. You’ll just have to give Tom and Tux your bike and Tom’s money back…
C.: I can’t do that. I used Tom’s money to buy my bike. I only had half of the money saved up. I wanted the back so badly when I saw it that I just went and dug up Tom’s money and bought the bike.
d.: Well Cal.E., if you can’t run anymore, you have one chance. I ended that round ten seconds early, because you looked so winded. I think that team TripleT suspects something, so I can’t do it again. But tell me, how much did that second-hand bike cost?
C.: My bike costs as much as a brand-new truck like yours would, even though it was used.
d.: Wow, that’s expensive!
C.: So, what’s the strategy, d.c.?
d.: I’ve been studying tape of The Tuxedo for the last two days. He has one weakness: when he’s about to land a knockout punch, he lowers both of his front paws to get more power behind the blow. By my estimation, you’ll have 0.044 seconds to land your punch when he does that. I‘ve timed you when you actually did train, Cal.E. You can throw a punch in 0.043 seconds when you’re fresh. But…figuring in fatigue and the condition you’re in, I’m just not sure my strategy will work.
C.: It has to, d.c. As you said, failure is not an option. Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. You’re the trainer, I’ll listen.
d.: Okay, you’ve only got two minutes, so this must happen quickly. Go out there with your guard down, like you can’t hold your front paws up. Look up and give Tux a free shot. When he goes to throw his punch, he’ll lower his two front paws. That’s when you’ll land a left cross to his lower jaw…
C.: You mean a right cross…
d. the trainer: No, Cal.E., I mean a left cross.
C.: But, d.c., I’m right pawed! I’ll have more power behind a right cross than a left cross.
d.: And that is exactly what he and Tom will be thinking our strategy is. If you put all seven pounds behind the punch and land it in exactly the right place, this will work. It’s our only option. (ding, ding, ding)
d.c. the announcer: And it looks like the calico has had enough. She’s standing in the middle of the ring, with her front paws at her side. She’s looking at the ceiling and acting like she can’t continue the catfight. The Tuxedo is going in for the kill…and Oh my! The challenger just landed a devastating left cross (just like I told her to do). Down goes The Tuxedo! Down goes The Tuxedo! Down goes The Tuxedo!
d.c. the referee: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten (ding, ding, ding) Ladies and gentlemen, cats of all ages, we have a new heavyweight catfighting champion of the word: Calculating Einstein Kat!!!
Cal.E. the G.O.A.T.
C.: Give me a beat, d.c.
d.: boom cha, boom cha, chah cha
C.: Float like a butterfly sting like a bee,
I am the greatest
Don’cha mess with Cal.E.
d.: Oh Cal.E., the calico cat
You beat the fat Tuxedo that
Is your biggest rival’s attendant
I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But I've come through
And we mean to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the World
C.: The Tuxedo thought
that I’d take a dive
I showed him
And Tom the Tabby, too
I can scratch
I can claw
I’ll come out on top
I am the greatest,
Don’cha mess with Cal.E.
I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You brought me fame and fortune
And everything that goes with it
I thank you all
But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise
I consider it a challenge before
The human race
And I ain't gonna lose
And we mean to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the World
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the World
d.: Oh Cal.E., the calico cat
You can beat the fat out
Of your biggest rival that
thought he could beat you
You proved him wrong
Tucker The Tuxedo
was just too fat.
C.: I’m Cal.E.
The calico cat
I am the G.O.A.T.
The Greatest of all Time
Before I run out of time
And words that rhyme
I'll tell you my that,
Tha name's Calculating Einstein Kat
Peace out, y’all
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Freddie Mercury
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