d.: What are you working on, Cal.E.?
C.: I’m returning Tucker’s email. His email was so sweet, I decided that I should email him back with a romantic email, like he sent me. I need some help, though, d.c.
d.: Okay, let me see what you’ve written so far.
C.: Well, I was going to write a poem. I have the first verse done, but I stuck after that. Here’s the first verse: Roses are red
I’m so blue
Because I miss you
Boohoo boohoo
d.: I see. Cal.E., I’ll use Tucker’s email as my template, and I’ll write you an email that's just as romantic as the one he sent you. Just give me an hour or two.
Two hour later
d.: Here, Ca l.E., read this and see if you like it.
C.: Okay, let me read it.
My dearest Tucker,
My eyes are red from crying because I miss you until I’m the bluest shade of blue. Every moment that you’re away from me seems to drag on to eternity. Your kind, gracious words in your last email made me long for the day we will be reunited and, eventually, joined as one in holy matrimony.
I keep a collar of yours in my bed to remember your scent. It reminds me of the times we spent together when you were teaching me how to ride a motorcycle. That was almost as exhilarating as the times when I felt your strong, gentle touch on my back and face.
I look forward to seeing you soon, my cat’s meow. For now, I will bid you a fond adieu.
Yours for this life and eight more,
Cal.E.
C.: (All nine lives? That really is an eternity!) Thanks, d.c. You have a way with words. Now, all I must do is copy/paste these words to an email and push “reply” to the last email Tucker sent me. It won’t matter that I have no idea where he is right now, he should still get this email and be able to read it before his next catfight. It should inspire him to win another championship belt for catfighting!
Somewhere in the backwoods of Louisiana (i.e. somewhere outside of New Orleans).
Tux.: Tom, did I get any emails?
Tom the Tabby: I’m afeared not, biggun. I keeps an eye on yo’ emails ta keeps ya from gettin’ distracted, but I’dda tol’ ya if’n ya gots sometin’ good, like an email from yo girlie. As yo’ trainer, I don’ want youse ta waste time monitorin’ da computer for an email dat may never come, so don’ worry about lookin’ for no letters or emails from anybody while yuse trainin’ fo’ yo’ big title catfight.
Tux.: I thought that the email I sent Cal.E. last week would, at least, merit her acknowledging the reception of it. I’m woefully disappointed. I’m so depressed I may not be able to fight tonight.
T the T.: Look, big guy, yoose been away from your girlie fir a while now. She prolly done got lonely and found her another tomcat. Ya needs ta concentrate on da fight, not a queens! Now, go out dare and take out some o’ dat frustration on da odder cat.
Tux.: Yes, Tom, that’s exactly what I’ll do. ROARRR!!!
Tune in tomorrow folks, and see if Tom’s trickery garners him and Tucker another championship belt for catfighting, or if Tucker turns on his best friend when he learns he’s been betrayed.