d.: (ring) Hello, ma’am, sir or nonbinary individual. How my I be of service to you today?
Ralph: Hi, d.c., it’s Ralph. again. I watched the last game that the Houston pro football team played on tape delay…
d.: Why didn’t you watch it live?
R.: Well, I was…previously indisposed.
d.: So, you were high on catnip for three days?
R.: I plead the fifth amendment, your honor.
d.: Ralph, I’m not a judge; and I was just asking a question, not making an accusation.
R.: Okay, yes. I was high on catnip for three days, but I did watch the game last night. That inspired the lyrics for a new fight song for this team.
D.: Okay, let’s hear it.
R.: A one, a two, a one, two, three, four….
Houston has the Texans
A feeble football team
They take the ball from goal to goal
And fumble in between
Their O-line is porous,
Their quarterback inaccurate
They make other teams happy
By playing like this guy
Remorselessly at times
We’re the…
Houston Texans
Houston Texans
Houston Texans number thirty-two
The defense is decent
They try hard all the time
But the receivers on offense
Can’t catch a pass
And think that’s just fine
We’re the…
D.: Hold it, Ralph. I don’t think the Texans will by this song, either, for two reasons
R.: Which are?
D.: The song is discouraging. That’s number one. Number two is that it was one game. The Texans haven’t played that poorly in every game.
R.: So, the Texans played well enough to win all of their other games except the last one? You’re saying that they just ‘laid an egg’ in the last game and should be fine come playoff time?
D.: ….Well, it looks like we’re out of time for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
Comments