d.: Well, Cal.E. decided that she needed to go back to work at The Kennel cleaning cages to be able to repay Tom the Tabby for a large loan he gave her. She doesn’t want her husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken
to know that her claws are fake. Personally, I don’t agree with her decision for two reasons.
The first is that she’s being dishonest with the life partner, the cat who would walk on hot coals for her. I’m sure that if she told T the truth, he’d understand and repay Tom himself. They were formerly in business together, and T has a lot of money. However, I promised her that I wouldn’t breathe a word of this to him, so I’m trying to keep my mouth shut. The second reason that I disagree with this decision is because the work that she’s doing has to be murder on acrylic claws and..(ring) Hmm. Cal.e.is calling. I wonder what she wants.
C.: Hi, Ralph,
this is your mom. Listen, I need you to score me some catnip. I’ll pay you back, but please don’t tell T, or anyone else what I’m doing. I need a lift to keep me awake, because I’m working double shifts at The Kennel to repay a loan. It’s complicated, so don’t ask me why I borrowed the money from a loan shark when T is a Meow-lloinnare.
Just leave the bag of Code C by the back door, and I’ll pick it up before I go to work today.
d: Well, it sounds like Cal.E. may be relapsing into her old habit of eating a lot of Catnip. It helped her stay awake at The Kennel because it affects alien cats differently than it does the cats born here on Earth. Humans sometimes give cats catnip to calm them down, but catnip hypes Cal.E. up. It made her so fast that she was the inspiration for The Kennel implementing a rewards system for the number of cages cleaned per hour, but she quickly became addicted to catnip. She needed more and more of it to accomplish her goals until she couldn’t live without it. She then went into rehab, where I gave her Trazadone to help her get over her addiction. I think that I should be the one to answer her call. She did get my number mixed up with Ralph’s, but I think that I have what she needs.
Later that same day at
C.: (ding) Oh, for cat’s sake, Ralph, I told you to leave the bag of Code C at the back door, and here you are ringing the doorbell…d.c., what are you doing here?
d.: I came to bring you what you need.
C.: Is it Trazodone?
d.: Yes, it’s Trazadone suppositories. Now, turn around..
C.: NO !!!!!
d.: Well, that's the end of today's blog post. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.'s Korner
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