C.: d.c., this is Cal.E., I need to talk to someone who isn’t involved in this campaign.
d.: Don’t you have a little while before the election?
C.: No, it’s today!
d.: I thought that the election for Ruler of the Planet of the Talking cats was always the second Tuesday following the third weekend of November, allowing that the new moon is in its third phase.
C.: It is, except during leap years, which this is!
d.: Oh, yes, it is leap year. I forgot about that.
C.: Well, it’s easy to forget something that only happens every thirty-seven years.
d.: ??? We have leap years every four years on Earth.
C.: That’s because the people who decided how time should be counted on your planet didn’t plan very well. It’s hard to remember to add an extra day to February every four years. It’s easier to do it every thirty-seven years.
d.: Well, how do y’all remember to change your calendars when something only happens every thirty seven years?
C.: When we see Haley’s Comet, we know that we’re one-half way there, plus one year.
d.: do cats have that good of a memory?
C.: Do you remember the last time that you forgot to feed Big Boy and Shon?
d.: No, I can’t say that I do.
C.: Well, they do, I can assure you of that. They’ll remember it for the rest of all nine of their lives.
d.: I should never forget to feed them, then. What else do cats remember well?
C.: How often and on what day y’all change the litter box, where all our toys are, and the smell of people who don’t like cats.
d.: How do y‘all know that?
C.: If someone smells like a dog, balks like a dog lover and ignores us, then we know that the person isn’t a cat lover. That’s why we always try to snuggle up to people like that, to make them uncomfortable.
d.: Yes, I can believe that. Anyway, what chance do you think you have of winning the election?
This just in. With 99.996 percent of all voting polls accounted for, the race for Ruler of the Planet of the Talking Cats is still too close to call.
C.: I’ve gotta go, d.c I must watch the election returns to see if I won the election.
d.: Well, then, I suppose that we’re out of time for today. Please join us tomorrow to see who will be the Nest Ruler of the Planet of the Talking Cats, right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.
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