Hail to the chief
We have chosen for the nation
Hail to the chief
We salute him one and all
Hail to the chief
As we pledge cooperation
In proud fulfillment
Of a great noble call
Yours is the aim
To make this grand country grander
This you will do
That's our strong firm belief
Hail to the one
We selected as commander
Hail to the president
Hail to the chief
Hail to the chief
We have chosen for the nation
Hail to the chief
We salute him one and all
Hail to the chief
As we pledge cooperation
In proud fulfillment
Of a great noble call
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Peter Tomashek / James Sanderson
Hail To the Chief lyrics © Jrm Music, Tornante Music Publishing, Megatrax Music, Video Helper (ascap)/jrm Music (ascap), Python Monty Pictures Ltd., Warner-barham Music Llc.
T.: How are we going to decide which one of us runs for POTUS and which one of us is going to be the V.P> candidate on an independent ticket? I've already come up with the beiginnig of my speech. Listen.
"My fellowAmericans,"'
What do you think?
C.: It needs more but how about a game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors” to decide who is the presednital candidate?
T.: We’re cats! we can’t make fists because we don’t have opposable thumbs. How about a foot race?
C.: No, you’re a professional cat fighter, and have been for many years. I;m just starting out my career as a pro tag team cat fighter as your partner. That’s not fair. How about a beauty contest?
T.: ??!!
C.: The U.S. presidential race is realy about popularity, and the one who looks the best usually wins and beauty helps.
T.: That’s not fair, you’re the most beautiful cat in the world. I wouldn’t stand a chance..
C.: Well…That’s true. How about a test of our wits? We could ask d.c. to think up some questions and whoever answers the most questions in the U.S. presidential candidate.
T.:That sounds fair. We both have Doctorates in Playing and Hiding from the College of the Cat Skills (even though I, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken) took all your tests for you and wrote your doctoral dissertation and defended it for you. Since the courses were all online, that was easy to do. Let’s call d.c. and set this up.
Later that same day
d.: Okay, you two, this is a two question test. The cat that answers both questions correctly is the candidate for the U.S. presidency, and the loser is the vice presidential candidate. In the event of a tie, I have more questions prepared. Are y’all ready?
T.: Yes.
C.: Is that the first question?
d.: No, Cal.E. The first question is, why are y’all still in Houston when you’re supposed to be in Paris for the Cat Olympics?
C.: That’s easy. My thirty-third cousin twice removed has a time machine, so we can go back in time and win our first cat fighting match.
d.: Olkay, big guy, it looks like you’re in a one to zero hole. You must answer the question correctly to force a tie with your wife. The question is, “how long will it take y’all to fly to the Cat Olympics?”
T.: One hour and twenty minutes.
d.: No, sorry, the Concorde
hasn’t flown for twenty-one years, so it would take over nine hours to fly to Paris, France. It looks like Cal.E. will be the Presidential candidate and you her vice presidential candidate. Tough luck.
C.: Not so fast, d.c. As much as I would like the nomination, I must be fair. T.’s answer was correct.
d.: ???
T.: Yes, the Cat Olympics are going to be held in Paris, Texas this year.
d.: Of course they are, but it looks like we’re out of time for today. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Sudden Death Presidential Candidacy Questions right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.
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