D.: Well, it looks like I’ll need to stay late at work today. Security just called and said they were bringing a guy who they think broke his leg, and they want me to check him out. Then, I’ll need to do all the paperwork to send him to the hospital, and it’s already five o’clock. I guess I’ll just need to walk out to my truck and call Eudora and let her know. Then, I’ll need to call Cal.E. and see if she can at least start the blog, since I don’t know her number by heart and I can’t bring my cell phone into The Kennel. “Cal.E., this is d.c. Can you please start today’s blog without me? I’ll be working late today, and I want to get the blog done before you go to work tonight…
C.: Hi, d.c. No can do with the blog starting by myself. For the last two days, I’ve either had to do the blog solo or start it by myself. You gave me a brutal workout to do today, so I’m tired. Also, I have stuff to do before I go to work tonight. You may need to do the blog solo after I go to work.
d.: No, Cal.E. I don’t have anything prepared for today and…
C.: Tough titty said the kitty, I have stuff to do! (Now, what channel was Gilligan’s Island on? Oh, yes, it’s on the Oldies but NOT so Goodies channel).
d.: Oh, come on, Cal.E. I’ve covered for you plenty of times. I’m just asking you to do me a solid this one time…
C.: Goodbye, d.c! Now, let’s see, is this the one where they actually get off the island, and then want to return because society has changed too much? Another commercial? I’ll just let my mind wander, then, and ask myself some rhetorical questions, like, “If Ginger is a movie star and Mary Ann is just a plain Jane farm girl, why did 77% of the men surveyed say they preferred Mary Ann to Ginger? And, if the professor is so smart, why can’t he repair The Minnow enough to get into a shipping lane and be rescued, or, at least, modify Gilligan’s radio enough to make a communication device, since the ship’s radio was broken beyond repair? Is the island in the Bermuda Triangle? And how does Gilligan’s radio keep running for three years without any new batteries and no electricity on the island? And, with no cats on the island, wouldn’t the islandmates be overrun with snakes and rodents? And how do the islandmates have an endless supply of food, if they were only going to be gone for three hours? If they only ate fruit and fish, they would need an endless supply of toilet paper. I doubt they have that on an uncharted island. And why didn’t the skipper check the weather report before setting off on the three hour tour? And why aren’t more people out looking for a movie star, a millionaire, and his wife? This show was made back when one million dollars was considered to be a lot of money! And how do the islandmates keep from getting sunburned? And why did Ginger and the millionaire couple pack so many clothes for a three-hour tour? And why is it called “Gilligan’s Island” if he’s the least important person on the island? And...
(Meanwhile, back at The Kennel)
d.: Okay, Eudora, I’ll see you when I get home, then, but don’t wait up. This could take a while. (Heavy sigh). “What’s that guy doing to the other nurses car? He doesn’t have on a security uniform, and I’ve never seen him before. I don’t think that’s her husband. I need to take a picture of him and send it to my email. Then, I can forward it to the other nurse and let her know who was lurking around her car. He must have seen me. He’s hightailing it out of here, but at least I got his picture before he did. There, now, I must hurry inside and forward this picture.
Wow! I hold in my hand all the knowledge man possesses since the beginning of recorded time, and I use it to argue with a cat and take pictures of a stranger! This phone has more technology than it took to land on the moon, and I’m using it for such mundane stuff. Oh well, I must get back inside and forward this picture to my workmate before it’s too late.
Tune in tomorrow, folks, and see if d.c. is successful in capturing a criminal at the Human Kennel, and, more importantly, if the islandmates did actually get off of Gilligan’s Island.