I have a mansion, forget the price
Ain't never been there, they tell me it's nice
I live in hotels, tear out the walls
I have accountants pay for it all
They say I'm crazy but I have a good time
I'm just looking for clues at the scene of the crime
Life's been good to me so far
My Maseratti does one-eighty-five
I lost my license, now I don't drive
I have a limo, ride in the back
I lock the doors in case I'm attacked
I'm makin' records, my fans they can't wait
They write me letters, tell me I'm great
So I got me an office, gold records on the wall
Just leave a message, maybe I'll call
Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through
(Everybody say, "I'm cool," "He's cool")
I can't complain but sometimes I still do
Life's been good to me so far
I go to parties sometimes until four
It's hard to leave when you can't find the door
It's tough to handle this fortune and fame
Everybody's so different, I haven't changed
They say I'm lazy but it takes all my time
(Everybody say, "Oh yeah," "Oh yeah")
I keep on goin' guess I'll never know why
Life's been good to me so farWriter/s: Joe Walsh
Publisher: Reservoir Media Management, Inc.
Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind
C.: Hey, d.c., how did your conference go this weekend?
d.: Good.
c.: Would you care to elaborate?
d.: No. I don’t want the Fascist Book Farce Checkers
to think that I’m trying to sell anything (don’t you just hate spell check?).
C.: Okay, on with the blog post, then.
****
C.: ( T.’s new car got me here to the Third Ward of Houston from Wayne Manor quickly.
I hope that Tom the Tabby has gotten his whole cartel together to take a free trip to an unknown location and to eat all the A.I. rodents they can handle before I get car jacked… yes, it looks like they’re all here.) Okay, guys, let’s all get into T.’s car and go to the boat for a feast of rodents.
Safety first, though. Y’all all get into this cat carrier during the drive.
Tom the Tabby: Youse heard da lady cat. Let’s get inta da car and gets us some free food an’ a trip around da would!
C. It’s not a trip around the…never mind. Just get into the carrier, please.
one-half an hour later
T.: (I know that I’m not supposed to associate with these cats anymore, but I’ll just say “hello.” They’re all old friends of mine and it would be rude not to at least acknowledge them. I hope that they recognize me since I'm already dressed for our dinner at the captain's table to night. .)
I do hope that it's one of these
And not one of these that Cal.E.'s youngest male kitten Ralph is playng
Animal Control Officer Bart: (That was a nice thing for Yetta Nather to do for me and all these kitties.
All I must do is keep up with the cats and let them eat all the rats their heart desires…Is that Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo Now simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken, and is he, now a holder of a Doctorate in Playing and Hiding from the College of the Cat Skills associating with his former cartel, the one run by Tom the Tabby? He was forbidden from ever associating with any member of the Triple T Cartel as part of his terms of parole. If I catch him even saying ‘hello’ to any member of that cartel, it would be a large feather in my cap. Because The State was paying for his and other’s of his ilk’s education, I haven’t had a raise in pay in three years. Even though I’m off duty, I’m going to catch that cat and throw him back into The Kennel.)
T.: Hell.. Oh, no!
It’s Animal Control officer Bart. I must think of something fast. If he catches me even saying ‘hello’ to a member of my former cartel that I was the head hench cat for, I’ll go back into The Kennel and the warden with throw away the key. I must think of something fast because I’m very happy with my life with my wife and her fourteen kittens, and they would have a field day with me at The Kennel since they all work there now… Yes, it’s the only way.
CAT OVERBOARD!
d.: Tune in tomorrow, folks, and find out if T survives, and what the letters in Bart’s name stand for.
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