Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: Well, d.c. said he may be late today. He said that I should start the blog without him if he is, because he and Eudora were going to take their youngest son to a college and check out the campus. I’ll wait a few more minutes to start, since I’m tired from working out on my own and walking home afterward. While I wait to see if d.c. will appear, I’ll let my mind wander. “If my mom or dad has a sibling that identifies as non-binary, and that person only speaks Spanish, would that person be my tix, rather than my tia or tio?” Oh hi, d.c. I’m glad to see that you made it back in time to write the blog with me today.

d.: Just one minute, Cal.E. I’m ending a phone conversation with Eudora, then we can write our blog. “Yes, dear, you’re right.” Okay, Cal.E., what did you want to talk about today?

C.: Well, the first thing I want to talk about is the phone conversation you just ended. Since I’m getting married in June, I need to know the finer points of marriage. I’ve failed twice at it, so I need some help. That sounded like the end of an argument. What was it about?

d.: IDK. Something about how I never listen. I stopped paying attention after the first three sentences…

C.: It sounds like your wife had a valid point, d.c. Is that why you admitted you were wrong when you ended the argument?

d.: But she wasn’t right. She was standing on my right side..

C.: And you lost most of your hearing in that ear thirty years ago. Doesn’t Eudora know that by now?

d.: She does. That’s why I think that she was just trying to make it difficult for me to hear her. She wanted to prove her point.

C.: Then why did you give in?

d.: Sometimes it’s easier just to give in on something that isn’t very important. Choose your battles wisely, Cal.E. Eudora knows that I don’t hear well. She’s been after me to get a hearing aid for several years. I think I may give in to that demand, although I’ve learned to read lips fairly well.

C.: Is your eyesight failing you too, d.c.?

d.: It’s not good close up, but it’s great at a distance. That’s why I sometimes walk away from Eudora when she’s talking to me…

C.: So you can hear her better?

d.: Yes. Let’s talk about something else.

C.: Okay, how did the trip to the college campus go today?

d.: It went well, and all the booths they had set up to distribute information were informative, except the one labeled “information.” They couldn’t tell me what the square root of Pi was, if gray is a color or not, where my truck was…

C.: And that’s why you’re late, I suppose, because you couldn’t find your truck, that is the reason you left me at the gym after you dropped me off for my work out? You said that you would probably be back by the time I was done working out and eating lunch when you dropped me off. I had to walk all the way home.

d.: Cal.E., it’s only one-half mile from the gymporium to your house. That would have been a good cool down from your workout…

C.: Yes, but I walked to “The Cat’s Meow” to have lunch. It's one-half mile in the oppsoite direction as my house from the Triple T Gymporium. That made my walk home a whole mile!

d.: So, you walked the distance from the Triple T Gymporium to your house in the other direction, and now you’re complaining about how far you had to walk to get home? Why didn’t you just eat at the Triple T, or just walk home and eat something that I left out for you and the other two cats?

C.: What’s that, d.c.? I think that you’re talking into my right ear…

d.: Cats have excellent hearing, and your's isn’t diminished yet. You always hear the can opener when I open it to feed you and the other two cats you live with.

C.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks, please join us tomorrow when (hopefully) d.c. and I will have something more interesting to talk about, like almost anything.