Cal.E.'s Korner

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

 End over end, neither left, nor the right

 Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights

 Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am

 Make a piece in your master game plan

 Free from the earthly temptation below

 I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

 End over end, neither left, nor the right

 Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights

 Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Bring on the brothers who've gone on before

 And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door

 All the departed, dear loved ones of mine

 And stick 'em up front in the offensive line

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

 End over end, neither left, nor the right

 Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights

 Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

 End over end, neither left, nor the right

 Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights

 Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

 End over end, neither left, nor the right

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music

d.: (tweet). Okay, Cal.E., I’ll continue to train you like a PUMA while I eat my midafternoon snack. I don't want you to get drop kicked through the goal posts of life when Meow Z. Tongue tries to overthrow the earth and commandeer all its resources to power the Planet of the Talking Cats when it runs out of power in one million cat naps.

First, you'll learn to hack into the DMV's website to change your identity. Then, you'll shred your old driver's license and create a new one.

If that doesn't work, you'll need to do the speed, agility and quickness drill. I'll demonstrate it for you now.

After you finish this drill, you'll learn to disguise yourself.

Nest is the old blind cat routine. That way, no one will suspect you or being a premium fighter.

Then you'll learn some dirty techniques in cat fighting.

You may want to ask you spouse, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. the Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken for some pointers.

After that, you'll learn to spy on others from a distance.

And finally, you'll learn to drop kick your opponent through the goal posts of life

after you've subdue him or her with your cat fighting skills.

Now, get some rest, so we can get up and do it all again tomorrow, right heare on Cal.E.'s Korner.