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Writer's picturemarkmiller323

Cal.E.'s Korner



One, two (One, two, three, four)

It was raining hard in 'Frisco

I needed one more fare to make my night

A lady up ahead waved to flag me down

She got in at the lights

"Oh where you going to, my lady blue?

It's a shame you ruined your gown in the rain"

She just looked out the window

She said, "Sixteen Parkside Lane"

Alright!

Something about her was familiar

I could swear I'd seen her face before

But she said, "I'm sure you're mistaken"

And she didn't say anything more

It took a while, but she looked in the mirror

And she glanced at the license for my name

A smile seemed to come to her slowly

It was a sad smile, just the same

And she said, "How are you, Harry?"

I said, "How are you, Sue?

Through the too many miles and the too little smiles

I still remember you"

We got one, uh-

Ah, now you got it together, finally

It was somewhere in a fairy tale

I used to take her home in my car

We learned about love in the back of the Dodge

The lesson hadn't gone too far

You see she was gonna be an actress

And I was gonna learn to fly

She took off to find the footlights

And I took off to find the sky

I wish this was on TV

All those people out there, listening in radioland

We have about fourteen people behind me

Making asses of themselves

It's really...

And frankly, if we only had more people in this damn society

Making asses off themselves for good causes

It would be a hell of a lot nicer place to be

Oh, I've got something inside me

To drive a princess blind

There's a wild man, wizard

He's hiding in me, illuminating my mind

Go Rockets, go

Oh, I've got something inside me

But it's not what my life's about

'Cause I've been letting my outside tide me

Over 'till my time, runs out

Now you got- You're all out of breath now

But you gotta do it, it goes

"Baby's so high-"

"Baby's so high that she's skying"

"Yes, she's flying, afraid to fall"

Give 'em another countdown

Quietly, whisper it sexy

One...

Right, "yes, she's flying"

(Yes, she's flying)

"Afraid to fall"

(Afraid to fall)

"I'll tell you why baby's crying"

(I'll tell you why baby's crying)

"'Cause she's dying"

('Cause she's dying)

"Aren't we all?"

(Aren't we all)

One minute!

You guys...

You guys over here were cooking

But I didn't here one note out of this side

Did you?

Let's hear this side over here

I wanna see what's happening over here

Give 'em another countdown

Little more enthusiastic

Maybe we can get up off it

One, two, a-one, two, three, four

(Baby's so high that she's skying)

"Yes, she's flying"

(Yes, she's flying)

If this was the Gong show, what would happen?

Okay but you guys definitely did good

Alright!

You get an A for effort

But don't give up your day jobs

There was not much more for us to talk about

Whatever we had once was gone

So I turned my cab into the driveway

Past the gate and the fine trimmed lawns

And she said we must get together

But I knew it'd never be arranged

And she handed me twenty dollars for a two fifty fare

She said

("Harry, keep the change!")

Alright!

Well, another man might have been angry

And another man might have been hurt

But another man never would have let her go

So I-

(Stashed the bill in my shirt!)

And she walked away in silence

It's strange how you never know

But we'd both gotten what we'd asked for

Such a long, long time ago

"You see, she was gonna be"

You see she was gonna be an actress

And I was gonna learn to fly

She took off to find the footlights

And I took off for the sky

And here, she's acting happy

Inside her handsome home

And me, I'm flying in my taxi

Taking tips

(And getting stoned!)

C.: Well, T.’s still asleep, and my favorite soap opera, “Nine Lives To Give,” is on TV. The show seems to be calling my name. It was canceled a couple of years ago, but it was brought back by popular demand. One million votes got the show renewed, even though only a little over 100,000 cats voted to put the show back on the air. Each vote counted nine times, though, since we have nine lives. I haven’t watched this show in six months, though, so I may have a hard time catching up.

Oh, good. It’s still the same morning, and the two main characters are still involved in the same conversation over breakfast. Sue wants to be an actress, and Harry wants to learn to fly. That sounds vaguely familiar.



Anyway, to make ends meet, Harry is driving a taxi, taking trips and eating catnip. Meanwhile, Sue is dating a meowainnare. She thinks that she can convince him to marry her, but she still loves Harry. However, his tips aren’t enough to pay the bills, and Sue doesn’t have any training of any kind. She’s afraid that, when her looks fade, she won’t be able to attract someone so rich.

Harry is sad that he can’t marry and support Sue, but he understands why she would want to marry a meowoinnaire. He can’t pay the bills on what he makes, and he has a catnip problem. Again, that sounds familiar.

Now, Sue wants to take off for the bright lights and try her hand at acting, but only after she marries the meowionnaire. That way, if she falls on her face acting, she’ll have a backup plan to pay her and Harry’s bills. I have a feeling that, at some time in the distant future, Sue will be standing in the rain trying to hail a taxi, and Harry will stop and rescue her, even though they’ll never resume their torrid love affair. This will make them both sad, but Sue will try to act happy. Harry will view his job as the same as flying an airplane, which may explain why he had his license revoked.



Harry will get stopped by the cops for speeding in the rain and charged with driving without a license, speeding and reckless driving, since he’s driving so fast in the rain. Sue, who married a meowionnaire, will then need to bail him out of The Kennel, and the two former lovers will sit down and have a cup of coffee. At the end of the scene, both will linger at the table, pretending to sip the coffee that is long gone to prolong the date. When it’s obvious that it’s time to go, they will both stand and, in his mind, Harry will grab Sue and kiss her passionately,  and she’ll respond positively after giving token resistance. 

In reality, the two will go their separate ways. Harry’s catnip problem will grow, and he’ll turn to a life a crime to support his habit. When he’s thrown in The Kennel for being a cat burglar, he’ll need a lawyer. Sue’s husband will be the best lawyer in Greater Houston, and he’ll defend Harry. Sue will pine over Harry, but never take action. Finally, Harry will break into Sue and her husband’s house while trying to steal something valuable to support his catnip problem.  He’ll be shot by Sue’s husband while trying to get out of the window, though. Sue will then be so distraught when she turns the body over and recognizes her former beau’s face that she’ll commit suicide, leaving the lawyer free to marry his nineteen-year-old mistress. These soaps are so predictable.

T.: Cal.E., it’t time to start training now.

C.: I might as well. I’ve already figured out the next three seasons of “Nine Lives to Give.”



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