Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am Make a piece in your master game plan Free from the earthly tempestion below I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life Bring on the brothers who've gone on before And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door All the departed, dear loved ones of mine And stick 'em up front in the offensive line Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
C.: Well, I guess y’all gathered that this is our new theme song for our blog. It is d.c.’s favorite song, and he’s in charge of the blog. However, he’s not here right now, because he’s giving a free webinar lecture to newlywed men. Since he and Eudora have been together for twenty-five years, his church asked him to put on a webinar about what men should not say to their wives if they want to stay married… and alive. Let’s listen to what d.c. has to say.
d.: Okay, class, listen up. I’ll give the benefit of my twenty-five years of experience with the same woman. In that time, I’ve learned what are and are not good things to say to a woman. The more important of the two is what not to say, so I’ll start with those.
Number five: “You look radiant. Are you pregnant? When are you due?” To which she will invariably say, “Are you saying I’m fat?” This would be a good time to remember that you have something important to do, and make sure that you do it far away from her!
Number four. “Honey, I took our life savings and bet it all on the Texans to win the Super Bowl next year.” Okay, that’s just common sense. Even if you get one million to one odds and have as much money as Mattress Mack, this isn’t a good thing to do.
Number three. “Of course I haven’t worn your pants, dear. Since my waist is smaller than yours and I don’t wear a belt, they wouldn’t have stayed up!” If you ever catch yourself saying this one, duck and cover. Or better yet, just run.
Number two. “Yes, those pants do make you look fat.” I don’t care how many times she says that she’s just asking for an honest opinion, don’t take the bait! It could be detrimental to your marriage and your health. This is a good time to enjoy a snack, as the man on the candy bar commercial does when his wife asks him this question. That man is smart. He sticks the whole candy bar in his mouth at once, making sure that he can’t answer the question.
And the number one thing never to say to your wife or significant other, “You look tired.” Even if she’s been awake for forty-eight hours straight taking care of a sick kid and working a full-time job and going to night school to earn a degree, never say this to a woman.
In his classic rock song “Maggie May,” Rod Stewart says, “'The mornin' sun when it's in your face really shows your age.” *That is something else a man should never say to a woman. Stewart recovers, somewhat, when he says, "'But that don't worry me none, in my eyes, you're everything.”* I wouldn’t try this at home, though, you might not live long enough to utter the second sentence.
Tomorrow, I’ll go over some things that will earn you some points with your new wife. Until then, always remember, I’m d.c. scot, and you are somebody else.
*Source: LyricFind