k writer (paperback writer)
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job
So I wanna be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
It's a dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand
His son is working for the Daily Mail
It's a steady job
But he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
It's a thousand pages, give or take a few
I'll be writing more in a week or two
I could make it longer if you like the style
I can change it 'round
And I wanna be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
If you really like it you can have the rights
It could make a million for you overnight
If you must return it you can send it here
But I need a break
And I wanna be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney
Paperback Writer lyrics © Iricom US Ltd, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
C.: (This first query letter got rejected quickly. That can’t be good. I’ll call d.c. and ask for advice, since he’s written so many query letters and a lot of them were rejected.) (ring)
“Hey, d.c., I wrote a brilliant book, but no one wants to publish it. Can you help me understand why?”
d.: Yes, I’d be happy to. Send me a copy of your query letter first, though.
C.: Why?
d.: Because that’s the attention grabber. Whether querying an agent or a publisher, you must first get their attention, or they’ll move on to the next one; no matter how good the material is.
C.: Well, my first query got rejected in two hours, so I at least got their attention, didn’t I?
d.: No, not necessarily. It might have been an intern or a computer just lookingat it before sending it to the agent. If it didn't fit with a genre that agent rpersents, they r to reject your query before the agent evn sees it. I’ll take a look at your query letter you just emailed me…
Yes, I see the first problem. You need to write the query letter and the manuscript in English, not Catonese.
C.: Why? You can read it.
d.: True, but I’m one of the few people on Earth that can speak and read Catonese. Now, I’ll ignore the fact that the manuscript is in Catonese and try to help you with it if you’ll email that to me.
C.: Okay,here you go
d.: Cal.E., in this first chapter, I have a feeling that you may be leading up to something, but I don’t know what it is. Can you clarify that for me?
C.: I want to set the stage. The last chapter is the “gotcha” chapter.
d.: That’s fine, but there needs to be at least a hint of what may happen at the beginning of the book. You and I aren’t established authors yet, so we need to put our best writing up front.
C.: Explain, please.
d.: Well, as you know, I don’t so much write one manuscript as the whole story by writing one chapter at a time. Then I go back and see which chapters fit best into which manuscripts. Since I’m not a big-name author, I decided to rearrange a couple of chapters when I got some feed back from agents and my editor.
C.: Can you give me some examples?
d.: Yes. I thought that the chapter “Code X” was one of my better chapters…
C.: What do you know about feminine hygiene products, d.c.? I know that your a nurse, but you’re also a man. Speaking of which, that brings up a question.
d.:(I’m almost afraid to ask this, but here goes). “What question is that, Cal.E.?”
C.: Well, if Kaitlynn/Bruce Jenner committed a crime and was thrown in prison for it, would the state be obligated to supply him/her with Code Xs?
d.: NO! AAnd that’s now what I was referring to, anyway. Code X is a chapter in my manuscript, not the brand name for a feminine hygiene product. That chapter fit in to my first manuscript, after I did some trimming and reconfiguring. It was originally supposed to be toward the end of the story, but now it’s in the first manuscript.
C.: What about my other question?
d.:...IDK Cal.E. Getting back to the subject at hand… I’ve had a couple of agents that liked my style but weren’t grabbed by my opening. That’s why I rewrote it. Also, I reasoned that, if I opened the story with a dangerous situation, I should also tell in that manuscript what happened. That meant that three chapters that were originally in my fourth manuscript are now in the first one, but I think that they are some of my best chapters in this story. I also decided to change the title and drop the subtitle, which was just the working title, anyway.
C.: But, don’t the masters, like Hemingway and Dickens set the scene, and then go into the story?
d.: Yes, Cal.E., and those are two of my favorite authors, but I’m sixty years old. The market for thrillers and mysteries is for those between twenty-five and forty, and they’ve been educated differently from the way I was educated.
C.: Are people that age stupid and illiterate? Is that the problem?
d.: No. Like I said, they were educated differently than I was. When I went back to nursing school to earn that degree, I had to learn a different way to study. Now, most tests are given on a computer, so younger people teach themselves to remember what will fit on a computer screen. They learn in chunks. I was taught to read a chapter, then go back and try to pull out the most relevant information. Some professors suggested high-lighting that information, rereading it, then going to sleep. The next day, the student was supposed to go back and write down everything s/he highlighted.
C.: That seems time consuming.
d.: It is, and if a student is taking five or six classes, that leaves little time for doing other things, but that may have been a good thing for some of us.
Because of the way younger people learn these days, we need to adjust the way we present our information. Start with an exciting scene, and then maybe go back and show how that situation occurred.
C.: So, the backstory should go in the middle or end of the book, and the main theme at the beginning?
d.: Yes! That’s exactly what I’m saying, if that fits your style. It’s a learning process that’s taken me a few years to develop, but I think I may have it now…Cal.E.? Are you still there?
C.: I need to get busy, d.c. As you’ve said (too) many times,”Writing is rewriting.” I need to get busy doing that.
d.: So, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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