Rumor spreadin' 'round
In that Texas town
About that shack outside La Grange
And you know what I'm talkin' about
Just let me know if you wanna go
To that home out on the range
They got a lot of nice girls
Have mercy
A-haw, haw, haw, haw
A-haw, haw, haw, haw
Well, I hear it's fine
If you got the time
And the ten to get yourself in
A-hmm, hmm
And I hear it's tight
Most every night
But now I might be mistaken
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Have mercy
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Billy Gibbons / Frank Beard / Joe Hill
La Grange lyrics © BMG Rights Management.
C.: (I hope that d.c. picks up his phone because I have some exciting news!)
d.: (ring) Hello, this is d.c. scot, nurse, author and lyricists. If you are and agent and are going to offer me a contract for a book or a song, please text me immediately. Otherwise, leave a message and I’ll return your call as soon as I feel like it, I mean, as soon as possible. (beep).
C.: d.c., it’s me, Cal.E, your best bud and fine feline friend. I have some news that concerns one of your neighbors…
d.: Oh, hi, Cal.E. I’m sorry I didn’t answer my phone immediately, but I was previously indisposed.
C.: How?
d.: I had to see a man about a horse.
C.: come again?
d.: I was in the human sandbox, okay!?
C.: Were you doing drugs in there?
d.:NO!! How does this concern a neighbor of ours?
C.: You heard the song that I played before I said “Hello,” didn’t you?
d.: Yes, why?
C.: It’s sung by Z.Z. Topp, and my band, the RoCKats and I are going there. One of the members of that band has a ranch that borders our neighborhood (for now).
d.: Oh, I see. Is your band, The RoCKats, the featured act a a fair or a local rodeo?
C.: Yes, my band is going to warm up Ralph’s new band, who’s going to warm up another band, who’s going to be the featured band on the HEB tour.
d.: So, your going to La Grange to play at a local fair or something like that; and then I assume that you mean that you and your band are paying Hurst, Euless and Bedford in the mid-cities between Dallas and Fort Worth; where I formerly lived (a long time ago)?
C.: No, d.c. We’re going to play in the alley behind the new HEB grocery store in La Grange (as long as no humans hear us and we don’t get thrown out of the alley).
d.: Well, that’s good. I suppose that you and your bandmates worked everything out, then?
C.: We did. I went to talk to them after you and I talked. I took Tucker along as a buffer, and they agreed that I was right about everything and they were wrong, so we booked the gig behind the HEB in La Grange.
Strangely, though, Tucker got a phone call and had to go outside to take it. Then, my band said that they would all chip in and buy me a bus ticket to send me on a solo tour. It’s called the BFE tour. I assume that means Bryan, Fulshear and Egypt.
d.: And this was while T was outside, talking on the phone? Cal.E., did you ever apologize to your bandmates for your behavior and leaving them without a lead singer?
C.: No, they all admitted that they were wrong and that I was right…
d.: While your husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken, holder of cat fighting championship belts in five different heavy weight categories was standing behind you, giving them menacing looks? And then, when he walked outside to take a phone call they gave you a bus ticket to go on a solo tour to BFE?
C.: Yes, why?
d.: I wouldn’t use that bus ticket they want to give you.
C.: Why not?
d.: Because you only got one of the towns correct that they want to send you to.
C.: Oh, do you mean that they want to send me to…
d.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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