Anthony works in the grocery store
Savin' his pennies for someday
Mama Leone left a note on the door
She said, "Sonny, move out to the country"
Workin' too hard can give you
A heart attack (ack, ack, ack, ack, ack)
You oughta know by now (oughta know)
Who needs a house out in Hackensack
Is that what you get for your money?
… It seems such a waste of time
If that's what it's all about
Mama if that's movin' up
Then I'm movin' out
I'm movin' out
… Sergeant O'Leary is walkin' the beat
At night he becomes a bartender
He works at Mister Cacciatore's down
On Sullivan Street
Across from the medical center
He's tradin' in his Chevy for a Cadillac (ack, ack, ack, ack, ack)
You oughta know by now
And if he can't drive
With a broken back
At least he can polish the fenders
… It seems such a waste of time
If that's what it's all about
Mama if that's movin' up
Then I'm movin' out
I'm movin' out
… You should never argue with a crazy mind (mi-, mi-, mi-, mi-, mi-)
You oughta know by now
You can pay Uncle Sam with the overtime
Is that all you get for your money
If that's what you have in mind
If that's what you're all about
Good luck movin' up
'Cause I'm moving out
I'm moving out (mmm)
Ou, ou, uh huh (mmm)
… I'm moving out
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Billy Joel
Movin' Out (Anthony's Song) lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
d.: (ring) The Kennel. The choice of former and present inmates in the southwestern corner of Southeast Texas. Voted the most tolerable correctional facility in Southeast Texas five years in a row. If your crime is minor, come do your minor time with us. This is d.c. scot speaking. How may I be of service to you on this fine afternoon ma’am, sir or nonbinary individual?
C.: d.c., it’s me. I was just calling to remind you to come to Wayne Manor tonight to teach my husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken and me how to play pong…
And one more thing, you’re fat! Lose some weight!
Oh, is it a clinical day?
d.: Yes, Why?
C.: Please hold on and let me hear what Mr. A. is saying. I love to hear him give the inmates advice.
d.: Hold on, then.
Mr. A.: Next! Hello, how are you?
Inmate: I’m not feeling good. I don’t think I can go to work today.
Mr. A.: Why?
Inmate: Because I broke my leg yesterday.
Mr. A.: Where do you work?
Inmate: In the laundry.
Mr. A.: Well, then, I can give you a “sitting only pass” for work. That way, you can sit and fold clothes. Next!
Inmate #2: Doc, I think I had a heart attack. My chest, neck and right arm have been hurting for three days.
Mr. A.: Then why didn’t you walk in to the medical department three days ago?
IM#2: I thought it would go away.
Mr. A.: Mr. scot, what was this inmates blood pressure and Troponin I level when you took his blood earlier?
d.: His blood pressure, as well as all other vital signs were well within normal limits. His heart rate was 60, regular rate and rhythm, lungs were clear to auscultation times five lobes. His bowel sounds were normoactive X 4 quadrants. His oxygen saturation was 99% on room air, and his Troponin I was 0.00.
IM#2: What does that mean, doc? Am I going to die?
Mr. A.: No, it means that you aren’t having a heart attack, and your lungs and bowels are functioning normally.
IM #2.: Did I have a stroke, then?
Mr. A.: NO! Usually, when one is having a heart attack, s/he feels pain and numbness in his left arm, not his or her right arm. Your blood pressure would be elevated if you were having a stroke right now, and our diagnostic equipment would have told me if you’d had a stroke or a heart attack in the past. By the way, do you sleep on your side?
IM#2: Yes, why?
Mr. A. On your right side?
IM#2: Yes, why?
Mr. A.: Because your five foot six, and you weight three hundred and fifty-six pounds! You didn’t have a heart attack or a stroke. Your arm was asleep because you put all 356 lbs on that arm. Lose one hundred and fifty pounds and you should be fine. Next!
d.: That’s all the patients that are here today, doc.
Mr. A.: What happened to the other ten guys that I was supposed to see today?
d.: They all came in and signed refusal before the clinic started.
Mr. A.: Hmm…I wonder why?