Take me out
To the ball game
Take me out
With the crowd
Buy me some peanuts
And Crackerjacks
I don't care if
I never never get back
Let me root, root root
For the home team
If they don't win
It's a shame
For it's one, two,
Three strikes you're out
At the old ball game!
C.: Thanks for taking Ralph and me to a spring training game if Florida, d.c., but whatever possessed you to do this?
d.: Well, I was listening to an Astros’ spring training game on the radio, and they said that today was Cat Day. I’ve never been to a spring training game, and I have the next two days off. Since it was Cat Day, I thought of you (right after Shon, Big Boy and nine of their friends turned me down). Since Eudora has to work for the next four days, I had an extra ticket, so I told you to bring T. Why didn’t he come along?
C.: Well, my husband’s a big baby. Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken and I were training for our tag-team cat fight. I had an eyelash in my eye, so I asked T to stop about one-third of the way through our five-mile run. He stopped and turned around so quickly to check on me that he sprained his left hind leg.
d.: Oh, I guess getting on and off a plane with crutches would be hard.
C.: Yes, but the big baby doesn’t need crutches. It’s only a grade three sprain, according to our vet. I had a eyelash in my eye, and I got on the plane just fine! If you ask me, T doesn’t need crutches. He should man up and train for our cat fight next month, but he instated on putin it off after talking to the vet..
d.: It does take three to six months to heel from a grade three sprain, and I suppose that the eyelash in your eye explains why your wearing shades, even though its overcast.
Ralph: Thank you for getting tickets for me to see my favorite baseball team, uncle d.c. The Astros have a fourteen percent chance of winning the World Series this year, according to Basball.com. They’re the co-favorites to win the American League pennant, along with the…
d.: Don’t say those words in my presence!!!!
C.: Yes, Ralph. Never utter the words “New York Yankees” In d.c.’s presence.
d.: Argh!!!!!
Here you go sir. Which cap would you prefer?
d.: Oh, how nice! I didn’t know that y’all would be giving away hats today.
Well, it is hat day
d.: Yes, that’s why I brought these two cats with me. I suppose this is what I get for bringing these cats the game today. I’ll take the retro one from the 1980s, please. Thank you very much.
There must be a lot of cats here. Almost everyone is wearing a new Astros’ cap.
C.: d.c., is it possible, that, with your hearing, you heard the radio announcer incorrectly? MIght this be CAP DAY?!
d.: Hmm. That sounds reasonable. Let’s just enjoy the game.
C.: You really need a hearing aid, d.c.
d.: NO! Absolutely not! I‘m not paying for a herring for you! I know that you’re a cat and cat’s like fish, but I’m tapped out after paying for these game and airplane tickets…hey, your cap is cooler than mine. Do you want to trade?
C.: That’s okay. You keep your retro cap, and I’ll enjoy my World Series Champions cap.
d.: How about you let me borrow your cap on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other Wednesday?
C.: Pass.
d.: Just every other Wednesday?
Ralph: I’ll trade with you, uncle d.c.
d.: No thanks, Ralph. That’s a pretty generic hat…hey, with both of you here, who’s working at The Kennel tonight?
C. and Ralph: Jodi.
d.: Jodi?! Well, y’all can probably pick up your last checks and severance pay when we get home.
The game’s starting, so I suppose that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.