d.: Cal.E. is with Tucker today. They’re celebrating his victories in catfights in Ridgecrest, Vidalia, and Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Tucker Tucker, Two is now the undisputed catfighting champion of the world in three weight classes. That tracks, since he’s three times the size of most cats! Cal.E and Tucker are celebrating his victories with some Vidalia onions, so I’m glad I won’t be talking to her face-to-face today. Cal.E.’s absence gives me an opportunity to talk about something that I have discussed at length before.
Since Major League Baseball spring training has started, I feel it’s a good time to address an issue that my favorite columnist in the Houston newspaper discussed in this morning’s paper. Jerome Solomon brought up the point that electronic sign stealing has been going on since 1900 (that’s the earliest recorded incidence of it, anyway. I believe that it probably even predated that).a Mr. Solomon’s column went on to say that many of the players being let go by their various teams are admitting that their team was using electronics to steal signs. Who were the worst offenders? It’s hard to tell, since almost all of the teams did it. Rest assured, the 2018 Boston Red Sox rank at the top of the list, since they had b Alex Cora as their manager. Cora was the man (besides Carlos Beltran) most frequently connected to the Astros’ sign stealing scandal. The Red Sox also had a lower-level employee who was let go by Boston and hired by…wait for it, the self-righteous Los Angeles Dodgers! Heavens to Mergatroid! Do you mean the team that was the quickest to point fingers may (was) also have been cheating? Perish the thought!
And if any of this surprised you, then you haven’t been paying attention. The world champion Houston Astros are great at evaluating talent. The Astros’ all-world left fielder/ DH, Yordon Alverez was acquired from the Dodgers for a washed-up relief pitcher and fifty thousand dollars. That’s right, Yordon cost the Astros the price of a new SUV and a relief pitcher who wouldn’t have been good enough to even make the roster when the Astros won the World Series last year. Josh Fields was nowhere near the player that Yordon Alverez is. The Dodgers gave up on him too early and kept a centerfielder with a big mouth who is way past his prime. Cory Bellinger swears the Dodgers never cheated. If you believe that, that property in Galveston that I guarantee not to flood is still available at an affordable price, but you must act quickly!
Guess who hasn’t been heard from with all the finger pointing going on? Rob (he is NOT a) Man,Fred has been silent on this issue since the World Series ended. He seems to be forgetting how vocal he was about how this was “The worst scandal since the 1919 Black Sox scandal.” Rob, the Astros did NOT throw games, use steroids, endanger players lives by throwing at their heads, or do anything every team in the major leagues weren’t doing. Therefore, they did NOT have an unfair advantage. Their just better than all of the other teams in the major leagues, and have proven it by winning the World Series and dominating the American League playoffs for six years!
In conclusion, Rob, (he is NOT a) Man,Fred, you can kiss the Astros, ’Dusty Baker’s, my and everyone else in Houston’s…
C.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Pleas join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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