C.: oh, d.c., come outside and see my surprise.
d.: I don’t see anything yet, Cal.E.
C.: Wait for it…
d.: What is Tucker, Tucker Two doing on a Harley-Davidson 1200 motorcycle?
C.: He brought my motorcycle over to your house so you could see it.
d,: Cal.E., do you even know how to ride a motorcycle?
C.; Not, yet, but “The Tuxedo” was practically born on one! He offered to teach me to ride mine if I would let him ride it at least once a week. Isn’t it beautiful?
d.: It’s a nice-looking ride, Cal.E. I won’t argue that point. But those bikes cost as much as a house did thirty years ago. How could you afford such an expensive motorcycle?
C.: You were the one who told me to have a goal in mind. You said that to get motivated to do my job well, I should find something I really wanted and would enjoy having and save up enough money to buy it with cash. When I was walking home, I saw someone ride by one of these. My feet were sore, and I was tired of walking, so I decided then and there to buy a bike like that.
d.: Cal.E., your mom and dad live next door to my house. Why would you want a motorcycle to ride to take you to your next-door neighbor’s house?
C.: I’m a cat, d.c.! We’re lazy! Besides, firing up this baby makes me feel large and in charge!
d.: But, Cal.E., you are in charge at your job. You’re the supervisor of the animal cage cleaners. But tell me, is buying this motorcycle the reason you never have any money and are always trying to borrow money from me for things you need or think you need?
C.: Well…yes. I used my catnip addiction as a cover. I actually kicked that habit months ago. I don’t even crave it anymore.
d.: You kicked one addiction to buy something that may get you killed?
C.: You said that where you grew up, you were one of the few kids who didn’t own a motorcycle, because your parents were scared of them. Now is your chance, d.c. You can learn to ride a motorcycle in style. All you must do is pay me a nominal fee, and I’ll let you ride my nice, shiny new Harley.
d.: Cal.E., number one, I do know how to ride a motorcycle. My parents weren’t always around, and most of my friends were willing to let me ride theirs. But those were usually dirt bikes. I believe it’s safer to ride offroad than on the road with a lot of cars. A motorcycle, even a large one like yours, doesn’t offer much protection if you get hit.
Number two is, I had a friend in college that would ride his small street bike all the way from his home town back and forth to college. It was a two-hour drive by car. This guy never got hit, never got in any kind of an accident, and didn’t drive recklessly or speed. He was a good rider and never got into trouble with the law on his bike. However, when it rained or was really cold and he had a date or wanted to go out and shoot pool or listen to music, he would either ride with one of his friends who had a car or borrow one. I think the bus that takes you and your coworkers to work is a safer option. Besides, where are you going to park at The Kennel where no one will try to steal your bike? Nice rides like that attract attention, and we’re surrounded by criminals (as well as inmates).
And number three, if I did want to ride your bike, you should let me. You already owe me so much money that I should be the co-owner of that motorcycle. That is, unless you want to start paying me back all the money I’ve lent you.
C.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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