C.: Well, today’s Super Bowl Sunday, so no one will be working on getting me out of The Kennel after I was framed by my youngest queen cat, Jodi. I might as well continue reading BEYOND THE THIRTEENTH MILE: THE IRON MAN CHRONICLES. It’s a manuscript that my best hum friend, d.c. scot, wrote about training for and competing in an Ironman distance triathlon. d.c. juxtaposes the training and competition for this event against events in his personal life. I’m on Chapter 23. You may read along with me if you wish.
CHAPTER 23: THE IDEAL RACE
2025: Run course, mile 22:
Well, I’m almost there. If I give it everything I have left, I can finish in less than 15 hours, a very respectable (but not spectacular) time. I just want to be able to say, truthfully, that I finished an Ironman distance triathlon. I do wish, though, that I’d saved my ideal race for this course, although I’ve never heard anyone say that he or she has ever raced their “ideal race”...
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Any athlete whom you speak to, be it a rank amateur or a seasoned professional, will give you the same answer about doing the “ideal race"—they haven't done it yet. The reason for this is that no matter how fast someone can swim, cycle, or run, or how well s/he plays an individual or team sport, there is always at least one aspect of the sport that all athletes believe they could improve upon. The reason is, there’s a force that drives a competitor that most people don't feel.
Some athletes respond better to pressure than others, just as some businessmen and women do. At one time, Michael Jordan– whom many consider to be the greatest basketball player (if not the greatest athlete) of all time, starred in a television commercial for Nike in which he told how many times he had been asked to take the game-winning shot—and missed. Truth to tell, Jordan had no idea how many times he had missed that shot (or made it, either). One reliable source put the made percentage of his last-second shots at a mere 48.1%, a virtual coin flip. This fact would indicate that “His Airness” may be human after all. All M.J. knew was that, when the chips were down, he wanted the ball. This attitude allowed the G.O.A.T. to lead the Chicago Bulls to six NBA championships—with no losses in the NBA championship series—in his on-again, off-again career. Micheal Jordan also remains the all-time leader in buzzer-beating game-winning shots in NBA history with nine.
Two of the top 20 career home run hitters in Major League Baseball history, Babe Ruth and Reggie Jackson, both Hall-of-Famers, also rank in the top ten in number of career strikeouts. No matter how many times Jackson would strike out during the regular season, a pitcher would inevitably make a mistake and give him a low, outside pitch to drive over the fence. Jackson would then do his best to accommodate the unfortunate pitcher. This would usually happen when it counted the most—in the World Series. Reggie Jackson still holds the record for most consecutive home runs in a World Series game at three (on a mere four pitches and three swings!), earning him the moniker “Mr. October." This feat virtually assured R-E-G-G-I-E a bust in the most hallowed hall of fame.
Babe Ruth is, both statistically and realistically, the greatest left-handed power hitter who ever played the game of baseball. Both he and Jackson earned multiple World Series victory rings. Some would still argue that “The Babe” is the greatest player ever to don a major league baseball uniform, since he could both pitch and hit on an elite level. Ruth played in the years before much was known about weight training and nutrition, making his feats slightly more impressive to some than the California Angels’ pitcher/designated hitter Shohei “Showtime” Ohtani’s in the modern era.
In the 2001 Tour de France, Lance Armstrong lost radio contact with his team captain in an important mountain stage of the race. Doing the only thing that he knew to do, Armstrong powered up the mountain with all his might, winning not only that stage of the race, but the coveted yellow jersey as well, signifying that he was the overall leader in terms of time. Armstrong went on to win his third consecutive Tour de France, a feat accomplished by only five other men in the 125-year history of the most elite bicycle race in the world. Armstrong is also the only American ever to accomplish this stunning feat. Amazingly enough, he had never even won one Tour-de-France before being diagnosed with testicular cancer that had spread to his lungs and brain before being arrested, then treated. Indeed, Armstrong had only completed one Tour de France, and he did that the year before he was diagnosed with cancer. Yes, Armstrong was later disgraced. To me, this doesn’t take away the incredible feat of his winning seven Tour-de Frances, a feat that will probably never be accomplished again. The record books will claim that this feat was never accomplished, since his victories have been stricken from the record.
At the beginning of his legendary career, Mark Allen lost the Hawaiian Ironman six times before winning it on the next six occasions. Only one other person, The Man himself, Dave Scott, has ever accomplished this feat. An average amateur athlete can only hope that, for one day, they can emulate Mark Allen or Dave Scott on his worst day.
Thomas Edison was once asked what he attributed his many successes to. Edison's answer? "My many, many failures." Edison later expounded on his earlier comment by saying, "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." My own personal translation of Mr. Edison's two quotes is that there is no substitute for hard work.
One-half of the way through the triathlon season, I realized that my season came down to three races: the one-half Ironman (already done), the full Ironman (still in the distance), and a sprint championship course called Cinco Ranch, at which, unfortunately, I have never done very well. This is the most heavily weighted sprint course in my region, and with good reason. While the competition is stiff, the course itself is difficult enough to have been used as a testing ground for Olympic hopefuls the year before triathlons became an Olympic sport.
On paper, it looks tame. A 500-meter open water swim, followed by an 18-mile bike ride, and a short, three-mile run. The ideal race for a beginner to get his/her “feet wet," you say? Well, no.
The race is staged in late August in Southeast Texas. (People who live in Southeast Texas go to saunas to cool off in late August!) The race doesn't start until 7:30 a.m., the time when the temperature is beginning to rise to uncomfortable levels. Why this is, I'm not exactly sure. The swim is held in a retention pond and, unless you’re staged in the first two waves, the water temperature is usually in the high 80s. Many triathletes refuse to compete in this race out of fear of getting hepatitis during the swim leg. I've never heard of this actually happening, though.
The bike leg can be fast and furious if the wind is blowing up from the south, but the possibility of a 20-40 mph head or crosswind also exists on the bike course.Then the real fun starts. By the time I get to the run course, the temperature is usually in the high 90s along with the humidity, in the shade, if any existed on this run course. Sadly, it does not. Part of the run course at the Hawaiian Ironman (the part that goes through the lava fields) is known as the "energy lab." The turn-around road at the Buffalo Springs Lake one-half Ironman distance triathlon is known as “the energy lab II,” because there is no shade for about three miles. To me, the run course at Cinco Ranch will forever be “the energy lab III," and I have competed in Buffalo Springs Lake twice. In other words, it’s a little like running through three miles of hell, or at least West Texas, if there actually is a difference. But… to again quote the greatest orator of the 20th century, Sir Winston Churchill: “If you are going through hell (or the run course at Cinco Ranch), keep going.”