Well, I'm an axe grinder
Piledriver
Mama says that I never, never mind her
Got no brains
I'm insane
The teacher says that I'm one big pain
I'm like a laser
Six-string razor
I got a mouth like an alligator
I want it louder
More power
I'm gonna rock it till it strikes the hour
Bang your head
Metal health will drive you mad
Bang your head
Metal health will drive you mad, all right
Well, I'm frustrated
Outdated
I really want to be overrated
I'm a finder
And I'm a keeper
I'm not a loser and I ain't no weeper
I got the boys
To make the noise
Won't ever let up, hope it annoys you
Join the pack
Fill the crack
Well, now you're here, there's no way back
Bang your head
Metal health will drive you mad
Bang your head
Metal health will drive you mad
Metal health will cure your crazy
Metal health will cure your mad
Metal health is what we all need
It's like a heart attack
Bang your head
Wake the dead
We're all metal mad
It's all you have
So bang your head
And raise the dead, oh yeah
Metal health
It drives you mad, mad, mad, mad
Bang your head
Metal health will drive you mad
Bang your head
Metal health will drive you mad
Oh, get your straightjackets on tonight, oh
The bad boys are gonna set you right
Oh rock ya, rock ya, rock ya
Bang your head
Metal health will drive you mad
Bang your head
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Frankie Banali / Tony Cavazo / Carlos Eric Cavazo / Dubrow
Metal Health lyrics © Embassy Music Corp.
d.: I wonder why my agent/lawyer hasn’t called me back yet? I’ve kept my line open since I called her yesterday. So far, I have voicemails from five of my six doctors and someone who says that I may have won the lottery. One of my doctors said something about a suspicious mole or something like that, I’m not sure. Another one said something about a bad ECG, and one of them was concerned with a brain scan, I think. Another doctor said that some blood work was worrisome. I’ll call them back when my agent/lawyer returns my call. Until then, I need to keep this line open.
It would be awesome to win the lottery, though, since the last time I bought a lotto ticket was six months ago, when it was up to 800 million dollars!
C.: Hi, d.c.
d.: Cal.E, why didn’t you call before you came over?
C.: I did call, d.c., several times. When you didn’t answer the phone, I assumed that something was wrong, so I came to check on you.
d.: Did you walk all the way here from Wayen Manor, at the end of the street?
C.: No, I drove Tucker’s car here. Fortunately, he hasn’t replaced his old car that has a manual transmission yet. Those have to be special ordered now, so a new car would probably have an automatic transmission, and I don’t know how to drive a car with an automatic transmission.
d.: Well, thanks, Cal.E., for going to all that trouble, but I’m just trying to keep the line clear in case my agent/lawyer returns my call. I don’t know why Sheila Haynes hasn’t called me back yet.
C.: I do.
d.: Why?
C.: Because she was too busy taking her cat, Daffodil, to try out as the lead singer for my band, The RoCKats.
d.: I thought that you were the lead singer of your band.
C.: No, not anymore. Between filling in for Ralph at The Kennel and training with Tucker to cat fight in a husband/wife tag-team match, I don’t have time to rehearse. We needed a new lead singer, so I put out feelers to see if any cats were interested. Daffodil answered the call, and she’s pretty good. The only problem is, we’ll need to change our genre if she sings lead.
d.:Why?
C.: Well, the RoCKats mainly sing classic rock and pop…
d.: (So, that’s what they call it).
C.: d.c., this is a blog. I can see your thoughts, because you're literally writing them down.
d.: Oh, right. Okay, if Daffodil doesn’t sing your genre, why would your band want her to be y’all’s new lead singer?
C.: Because she’s a really good Screamo singer. She’s also written songs for several Screamo bands.
d.: Which ones?
C.: All the big ones. Die, Die, Die; Don’t Touch Me, (Ever)! And my favorite Screamo band, Joy!
d.: “Joy”? I suppose that the name of the band is ironic, and so is Daffodil’s, correct?
C.: Why would you think that?
d.: Because, well, isn’t Daffodil a little hard to get along with?
C.: No, she’s a sweetheart, but she prefers to go by her nickname, Daffy.
d.: Does that name fit her better?
C.;: No, not really. She has a doctorate in playing and hiding, just like my husband, Tucker Tucker Two a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T, Because Triple T was AlreadyTaken, does.
In fact, Daffy and T were in the same graduating class. He was the valedictorian, and she was the salutatorian.
d.: Wow, that’s impressive! How many cats were in their graduating class?
C.: Let’s see, divide by two, multiply by the square root of pi, then multiply by forty-two, that would be two, d.c.
(ring)
d.: Oh, it’s my lawyer/agent, Sheila Haynes calling me back. I must take this.
C.: So, I guess that we’re out of time for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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