Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your doorA
ll the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
C.: d.c. I need your help. You were a newlywed, once upon a time (long ago).
d.: How can I help you, my fine, frisky feline friend?
C.: Well, lately, Tucker has had only one thing on his mind, and he wants to do it all day and all night, every day and night. I’m not sure how much more I can take! I’m really sore!
d.: Well… males and females are wired differently Cal.E. Males think with…pictures, and females think in complete thoughts. Right now, you’re newlyweds, so you excite Tucker. That’s especially true since he’s never been married before. Over time, the excitement will wear off, and you and he will have a somewhat normal married life.
C.: When did that happen with you and Eudora?
d.: When it does, I’ll let you know. As best-selling author Patsy Clairmont once famously said, though, “Normal is just a setting on your dryer.” She wrote a book by that name, too. I haven’t read the book, but I understand that the gist of the book is that what’s normal for one person may not be normal for another person. That’s where pre-marital counseling is helpful. The counselor will usually ask both the prospective bride and groom what each one considers to be the ideal in a marriage.
C.: Did Eudora and you have premarital counseling?
d.: We did. Since we’d both been married before, we wanted to make sure that we got it right the second time.
C.: Hmm. That may be helpful. I mean, I can get Tucker interested in eating, but then his mind turns back to the same thing. It was okay when he was doing it by himself, but now that he insists on involving me, it’s exhausting! I’m so sore that I feel as if I’ve been dropkicked through the goalposts of life when we get through.
d.: ???!!! Cal.E., what are we talking about?
C.: My husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorten nicknames) Now simply Known as T because Triple T Was Already Taken wants to train for his cat fights constantly. He already holds championship belts in five different heavy weight classes in cat fighting, but he doesn’t want to stop there. He wants me to get involved with cat fighting, too.
Anyway, it seems we were on different wavelengths, d.c. What did you think we were talking about?
d.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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