Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
C.: I had the strangest dream last night. I need to talk to someone to see if it means anything, but all my friends are busy. ELAC is working on a formula to end world hunger and save the world, and d.c. is at work. None of my kittens would be helpful, anyway, if they all weren’t all at work. Tucker is training, so I hate to bother him, and I don’t trust Tom the Tabby.
Hmm…this psychic that I found online says that she can interpret dreams over the phone. I’ll give her a ring and see what she says. Maybe she can answer another question as well. I wonder, “Why did Prince sing ‘I’m going to party like it’s 1999, when the century, as well as the millennium ended on December 31, 2,000 at midnight (ring).
Hello, you have reach the psychic hotline. We’ve been expecting your call. Unfortunately, we are unable to come to the phone now, so please leave your name, a call back number, a credit card number, your date of birth and social security number, as well as your mother’s and paternal grandmother’s maiden name and we’ll contact you either by telekinesis or by phone at our earliest possible convenience, unless it’s after hours, which is whenever we decide to close up shop and go home. (beep).
C.: (I don’t like this, it sounds like a scam, so I’ll hang up. Why would a psychic need to know my name, shouldn’t she already know who’s calling? And, if she was expecting my call, why didn’t she answer the phone when I called?? And, why does she need my phone number? Doesn’t everyone have caller I.D. now? And that other stuff is totally unnecessary, so it sounds like a scam. That brings up another question, “Why would a good psychic need to scam people? Shouldn’t she know what numbers will be drawn at every lottery, and win it every week?” I’ll wait a few hours and talk to d.c. when he gets home.
Later
C.: Hi, d.c., it’s me, Cal.E., call me when you get home…Oh, hi, can you come over and talk in person?
d.: That might be hard to do, since you’re a cat, and you are the one who wants to do the talking.
C.: Just come over, please.
d.: Okay.
Knock
C.: Who is it?
d.: it’s me, d.c., we just talked on the phone.
C.: How do I know that it’s you?
d.: Because you just asked me to come over two minutes ago. Hurry, and open the door. It's beginning to rain.
C.: If you’re really my best human friend, d.c. scot,, nurse, author and lyricist, you know the password phrase.
d.: CAL.E.! OPEN THIS DING DANG DOOR NOW!!!
C.: (I really must talk to Mom and Dad about changing that password phrase). Oh, hi, d.c., what took you so long to get here?
d.: ???!!! Just tell me what you want to talk about.
C.: Okay, last night, I had a dream that made me feel as if I’d been dropkicked through the goalposts of life.
d.: It must have been a bad one.
C.: It was. Do you believe that dreams have any meaning?
d.: Some do, some don’t. It’s usually just your subconscious mind trying to figure out what your conscious mind can’t while your awake. Tell me about your dream.
C.: Well, I was dreaming that I was asleep, a frequent dream I have. Then, I heard T. Puppy stirring in her kennel, so I went to check on her. It looked like she was playing with a thin white tube, so I started to turn around and go back to bed. But I decided to turn around and take another look. Then, the white tube turned into a black and red coral snake. I then howled and woke all my kittens up. They came in my room to see what was going on. I told them all to get out of the room, including T. Puppy, which was hard to do. I shooed her out of the room, though, and turned around. The snake was coming toward me and….
d.: What happened then, Cal.E.?
C.: IDK. I woke up in a panic.
d.: Well, from what I gather, you consider yourself the guardian of your house, now that your mom and dad aren’t there. You look out for all your kittens, as well as T. Puppy Kat.
The first image is probably what you think that T. Puppy saw. Dogs can’t see red, and she’s a puppy, so she didn’t know how dangerous the situation was, but you did. That’s why the snake appeared when you turned back around. You were just trying to look out for everyone in your household.
Or, it could mean…
C.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
Comments