top of page
Search
Writer's picturemarkmiller323

Cal.E.'s Korner




This is for all the lonely peopleThinkin' that life has passed them by

Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup

And ride that highway in the sky

This is for all the single people

Thinkin' that love has left them dry

Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup

You never know until you try

Well, I'm on my wayYes, I'm back to stay

Well, I'm on my way back home(Hit it)

This is for all the lonely people

Thinkin' that life has passed them by

Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup

Never take you down or never give you up

Never know until you try


Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Daniel M. Peek / Catherine L. Peek

Here lyrics © Wb Music Corp

 

d.: Man, I need a break from studying. I’ll turn on the boob tube and try to relax. It looks like a network commercial. I’ll watch this and see what’s coming up on television.

 

Today, on the Tomorrow show, we have the last interview with the late former first lady. And, we’ll have the first formal interview with the last president. Tomorrow, on the Today show, we’ll have a never before heard story about Edwin Morrow.

 

d. (I haven’t been this confused since I listened to the book “Mockingjay” on shuffle while I was driving to work. I think I’ll call Cal.E. and see if she can help me with this math homework.) (ring). (0h, great, I got her voicemail).

 

C.: You have reached the number you have dialed. If you think that you’ve reached this number in error, you are probably correct. However, if you’re that smart, why did you dial the wrong number?

 

If you do not feel you’ve reached this number in error, you’re probably wrong, but leave a message, anyway, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I feel like doing so. In other words, probably never, unless you’re someone who owes me money. Then, I’ll have my husband, five-time heavyweight catfighting champion Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T, Because Triple T Was Already Taken come over and collect the money. Don’t try to hide, because he will find you.

If you are not someone who owes me money and you’re still on the line, you must be really desperate to talk to someone, so leave me a message at the beep, and the contact a mental health professional (beep).

 

d.:  Cal.E., it’s me, d.c., your best human pal and…




 

C.: Oh, hi, d.c., what’s up besides 0.09% inflation compounded daily?

 

d.: I need your help with my math homework.

 

C.: Okay, come on over, and I’ll be glad to take a gander at your math er, homework.

 

Later that same day

 

C.: What took you so long to walk next door, d.c.?

 

d.: I was getting ready to leave when T. Puppy Katt asked to go outside. I let her out to pee, and she started playing in the mud. I put her in the bathtub, but she splashed so much muddy water on me that I needed to take a shower. We hadn’t washed clothes this week, and I had nothing to wear, so I decided to wash clothes. However, we were out of detergent to wash clothes. I asked Eudora if she needed anything delivered, and she gave me a whole list of things to order. When the grocery delivery guy got here, I didn’t have any small bills to tip him with, so Eudora had to go to the ATM and get some money, but they only gave her twenty-dollar bills. So, she went to the small grocery store next door. When she walked in, she saw the display and remembered that we had forgotten to order several things. When she got back in her car, she remembered that she needed gas, but it’s complicated to put gas in her car. I’m the only one who knows how to do it, so, I got in my truck and…

 

C.: Is that why you’re wearing your wife’s clothes, d.c.?



 

d.: Yes. I had to find some of her pregnancy clothes so they would fit me, and that took a while. When I got to the gas station, we decided we were both hungry, so we went to eat. It was ladies luncheon day at our favorite restaurant, so we got a big discount on our food. So, we decided to order enough for dinner.

 

What we ordered went well with red wine, so we went to the liquor store and bought some red wine. Then, we came home and washed clothes. While the clothes were washing, we watched a movie that we picked up while we were out. We were both dying to see it, and we wanted to watch it all the way through.

 

C.: d.c., are your clothes clean and dry?

 

d.: Yes, why?

 

C.: Then why are you still wearing Eudora’s clothes?

 

d.: It was a three-hour movie. I didn’t want to hold you up any longer than I needed to. Anyway, can you help me with this homework, please?

 

C.: Let’s see… three, five, nine ten, it’s  sequence of progressive odd numbers on this one, even ones on the next one, The square root of forty-two. Okay, all done.

 

d.: Thanks for letting me watch you do that. Now I know how to work those problems for my test. Now, I can do my research for my weekly paper for this class. I’ll need at least two references, though.

 

C.: Is that a requirement for your paper, d.c.?

 

d.: No, not really. It only counts 0.0001 percent of my final grade, but I like to do things correctly.

 

C.: ???

 

d.: To quote Steven Wright, “Stealing (work) from one person is plagiarism, stealing (work) from many is doing research.”

 

C.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.

 

 

 

15 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comentários


Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page