I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like coca cola
C-O-L-A, Cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Lola
L-O-L-A, LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
Well, I'm not the world's most physical guy
But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
Oh my LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand
Why she walked like a woman but talked like a manOh my LolaLa-la-la-la LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
Well, we drank champagne and danced all night
Under electric candlelight
She picked me up and sat me on her kneeAnd said "Dear boy, won't you come home with me?"
Well, I'm not the world's most passionate guy
But when I looked in her eyes, well I almost fell for my Lola
La-la-la-la LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
LolaLa-la-la-la LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
I pushed her awayI walked to the doorI fell to the floor
I got down on my kneesThen I looked at her and she at me
Well, that's the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way for my LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world, except for
LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
Well, I left home just a week before
And I'd never ever kissed a woman before
But Lola smiled and took me by the hand
And said "Dear boy, I'm gonna make you a man"
Well, I'm not the world's most masculine man
But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man
And so is LolaLa-la-la-la LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
LolaLa-la-la-la LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
LolaLa-la-la-la LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
LolaLa-la-la-la LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
LolaLa-la-la-la LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
LolaLa-la-la-la LolaLa-la-la-la Lola
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Raymond Douglas Davies / Dan Hougesen / Tom Lindby / Bo Christensen / Tommy J Christensen
Lola lyrics © Davray Music Ltd.
d.: Why are you hiding under the bed, Cal.E.?
C.: Because, d.c., you live in a crazy, mixed-up world, d.c.
d.: How so?
d.: Well, Lassie was series of Jack Collies, although the word “Lassie” means female. There are women who want to be men, and can now accomplish that, and men who want to be women, and they can also do that. Men can now have babies, even with a “Y” chromosome. Additionally, there are men who like to dress as women, but have no desire to change their gender. Many women dress like men, but that’s considered stylish, and some people dress so androgynously that no one can tell what gender they are or are trying to look like! Now, your telling me that the Lone Ranger, who was played by Clayton Moore on the old television series, and five different voice actors before that when it was a radio show, wasn’t the ethnicity of any of these actors.
D.: That’s true, Cal.E. Until recently, I never knew that The Lone Ranger was a real person, much less that he was a former slave who was freed after the American Civil War. Bass Reeves became a legend in his own time, but his true identity was hidden because he was of African descent, and the people who ran radio, and later, television, were all Caucasian, as were a majority of the viewers and people listening to radio shows. So, the producers decided to use a Caucasian actor. Although Jay Silver Heels was a native American from Canada.
C.: But, wasn’t Tonto Aboriginal?
d.: That’s what I understand, but how a Native Australian became an American lawman’s sidekick in the American Western Frontier is something I have yet to learn.
C.: Also, the person that many of y’alls historians gave credit for “discovering” North America never set foot on the continent of North America, only South America, and Eric the Red’s son, Leif Erikson actually was here almost five hundred years before Columbus’ confused crew declared that they had sailed around the world and reached the subcontinent of India. And, weren’t there already people here when both Erikson and Columbus got here?
d.: There were. Additionally, before Columbus ever set sail, Michealangelo looked at a map of Europe and Africa and surmised that there was land west of these two continents that had drifted away from them. He, and most other people in his era didn’t really believe the earth was flat, but they didn’t know what lay beyond what they could see. Columbus actually was just trying to prove that Asia was closer going west on water than traveling east on land. He was wrong, of course.
Now, I have a question for you, Cal.E.
C.: What’s that, d.c.?
d.: It’s an interrogative statement used to derive information, but that’s not what I need to know.
C.:???!!!
d.: Is gray a color, or a hue?
C.: Why do you ask?
d.: “The ‘color’ gray is made up of two hues that don’t actually classify as colors. Gray is the combination of the black hue, which is the absence of all light and the presence of all color; and the white hue, that is, inversely, the absence of all color and the presence of all light. The two hues are comprehensive opposites.”*
C.: IDK, d.c. I may need a little help from our readers with this one. Readers?
* From d.c. scot’s manuscript A FULL PARDON: A GRAYING OF THE LAW; THE MAGRUDER MYSTERIES PENULTIMATE CHAPTER.
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