Cowboys don't cry and heroes don't die.
And good always wins again and again.
And love is a sweet dream that always comes true
Oh, if life were like the movies, I'd never be blue.
But here in the real world it's not that easy at all,
'Cause when hearts get broken it's real tears that fall.
And darlin', it's sad but true but the one thing I've learned from you,
Is how the boy don't always get the girl here in the real world.
I gave you my love but that wasn't enough,
To hold your heart when times got rough.
And tonight on that silver screen it'll end like it should,
Two lovers will make it through like I hoped we would.
But here in the real world it's not that easy at all,
'Cause when hearts get broken it's real tears that fall.
And darlin', it's sad but true but the one thing I've learned from you,
Is how the boy don't always get the girl here in the real world.
How the boys don't always get the girl here in the real world…
Jodi: Mom, why did you take us way out here, in the wilderness? Are you planning to kill all fourteen of us?
C.: We’re only thirty minutes outside of what is now “Greater Houston,” (although it took us two hours to get here). No, Jodi, I just wanted y’all to see the beauty of nature, and to take our minds off our jobs.
Jodi: I can see just fine. Grass is green, the sky is blue, and it’s hot, as always in Southeast Texas. Now, can we please go home?
C.: Not yet. You haven’t gotten what I want you to get yet.
Jodi: Okay, water is wet, and it’s late October, so the Astros are in the World Series…AGAIN!
C.: Water is wet, my child, but the Astros are at home now, like twenty-seven other Major League Baseball teams this time of year.
Jodi: What?!! I suppose next you’ll tell me that two plus two doesn’t equal five!
C.: It doesn’t. Two plus two equals four.
Jodi: You just don’t understand the new math, Mom. Two plus two can equal five, if I want it to!
C.: I think that y’all need to hear a story. Gather ‘round, my little kitties.
Okay, once upon a time, in a century not too long ago, on this very planet, there were greedy men called MLB team owners. These were all wealthy men….
Jodi: What about the women?
C.: Well, at the time, there were no women owners in MLB.
Jodi: WHAT?!!!
C.: It was a different time, honey. Anyway, these men were making a lot of money, but they wanted to make more. They decided to add more teams so that they could add extra rounds to the playoffs and make even more money. At the time, they only played one playoff series, the World Series. It was a seven game series between the winner of the American League and the National League.
However, the owners reasoned that, if they added more teams, they could splt each league into two divisions. When the MLB owners wanted to make even more money, they added more teams and more rounds to the playoffs. Anyway, one of the cities chosen for a new expansion team was Houston. They got a new MLB team and called them the Colt .45s…
Jodi: I've never heard of them.
C.: A lot of people haven’t. They weren’t that good, despite having good players like “Little Joe” Morgan and “Big Bob” Watson, in addition to their star outfielder, Rusty Staub. They played for a few years on the city’s old minor league field, called Buffalo Stadium. Eventually, Judge Roy Holfienz got enough money appropriated to build an indoor stadium, the first of its kind.
The team chose to change its name…
Jodi: Why, Mom?
C.: For several reasons. One was that Houston is known as “Space City” because NASA is in a section of south Houston. That’s why the new building was dubbed the Astrodome, after the Houston team decided to call themselves the Astros. The Astros also wanted to distance themselves from the city being called the “Murder Capital of America” at the time, so they picked a less violent name.
Jodi: So, all forty-five year-olds are violent? And, I thought that foals were playful, but nice.
C.: No, honey. a Colt .45 is a type of a gun, a revolver.
Jodi: And then, when the team changed its name, the players played better and went to the World Series every year…yada, yada, yada.
C.: No, my misinformed child, they did not. Despite having stellar position players like Jose Cruz and Bob Aspromonte, as well as Enos Cabell, they didn’t even get to go to the playoffs every year. This was despite having pitchers on the pitching staff such as the legendary Nolan Ryan, the intimidating J.R. Richard, and the man who made the split finger fastball popular, Mike Scott. The Astros got close to playing in the World Series a few times, but never did in the twentieth century.
Jodi: But, the Astros have been to seven consecutive American League Championship Series. What happened?
C.: Well, the Astros did go to the World Series once, in the early part of the century. Even though they lost in four games, it made the franchise more attractive to a businessman named Jim Crane. He bought the Astros, the Astros went through a rebuilding process, and became a good team, winning their first World Series title in 2017. And the rest is history.
Jodi: Wait. The Astros have won the World Series twice as AL champs and lost it twice. That’s four, according to you and your old-fashioned math. What happened the first time?
C.: Well, the Astros don’t have a winning record in the World Series (yet), but they do have the distinction of being the only team ever to represent both the National and American League in the World Series?
Jodi: ???!!!
C.: The Astros were in the National League until 2013. Then, they switched leagues and started a winning tradition a couple of years later.
Jodi: How do you know all this, Mom, you’re not that old!
C.: Yes, but my best human friend, d.c. scot is. He told me this whole story.
Jodi: So, now I guess we know the whole story, as d.c. often says in his manuscripts?
C.: YOU CAN READ?!!!
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