Cal.E.'s Korner

Welcome to the Grand Illusion Come on in and see what's happening Pay the price, get your tickets for the show

The stage is set, the band starts playing Suddenly your heart is pounding Wishing secretly you were a star

But don't be fooled by the radio The TV or the magazines Show you photographs of how your life should be But they're just someone else's fantasy

So if you think your life is complete confusion 'Cause you never win the game Just remember that it's a grand illusion And deep inside, we're all the same All the same...

So if you think your life is complete confusion 'Cause your neighbors got it made Just remember that it's a grand illusion And deep inside, we're all the same

America spells competition Join us in our blind ambition Get yourself a brand new motor car

Someday soon we'll start to ponder What on Earth's this spell we're under We made the grade and still we wonder Who the hell we are

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Dennis De Young

The Grand Illusion lyrics © Almo Music Corp., Stygian Songs

d. Hi, Cal.E. Where have you been?

C.: I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to take a class at The Kennel after my shift ended.

d.: I see, Well, what’s wrong with your hind leg?

C.: Oh, that. I got bit while I was working. That’s why I had to take the class, to learn about stereotypes.

d.: Why would you need to do that when you’re the one who got hurt?

C.: Because I made a comment about the ethnicity of the dog that bit me.

d.: What type of dog was it?

C.: A German shepherd.

d.: What did you say?

C.: I said that it was my fault that I got bit. I said I should have known not to go into that German shepherd’s cage without protection.

d.: All German shepherds aren’t mean, Cal.E.

C.: I know that. I just said that particular dog’s cage, but since I identified the dog by its ethnicity, I had to take a class to teach me to be woke.

d.: I see. What did you learn from the class.

C.: That all German shepherd’s aren’t mean.

d.: Obviously. But I could have told you that. I've dealt with several in my many years on earth. Some are real sweethearts. What else did you learn?

C.: I also learned that all old people aren’t obsessed with the weather.

d.: That’s true. That reminds me, though. I must watch my DVR tonight.

C.: Why?

d.: I need to watch the recording I made of the Weather Channel’s forecast for the week. I want to know when to set off my sprinkler system, so I need to know when it’s going to rain, what the temperature will be to the one-hundredth of a degree, the wind speed and direction, so I can know which way to set up my sprinkler system, when the last time it rained was and how much it rained; what the weather was doing at this time of year seven years ago and why…

C.; That makes sense. I got in trouble in the class, though.

d.: Why is that?

C.: I was asleep. I went to sleep when the instructor said that one stereotype that wasn’t true was that all cats are lazy.

d.: I see. Well, I was going to tell you how your favorite serial series, “Nine Lives to Give” was supposed to end before it was cancelled. I read an online article about it when I was filling in on the night shift at The Kennel.

C.: But Tucker’s saying that we’re out of time. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, d.c. Right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.