Welcome to the Grand Illusion Come on in and see what's happening Pay the price, get your tickets for the show The stage is set, the band starts playing Suddenly your heart is pounding Wishing secretly you were a star But don't be fooled by the radio The TV or the magazines Show you photographs of how your life should be But they're just someone else's fantasy So if you think your life is complete confusion 'Cause you never win the game Just remember that it's a grand illusion And deep inside, we're all the same All the same... So if you think your life is complete confusion 'Cause your neighbors got it made Just remember that it's a grand illusion And deep inside, we're all the same America spells competition Join us in our blind ambition Get yourself a brand new motor car Someday soon we'll start to ponder What on Earth's this spell we're under We made the grade and still we wonder Who the hell we are Source: Musixmatch Songwriters: Dennis De Young The Grand Illusion lyrics © Almo Music Corp., Stygian Songs
d.: Wow! I never suspected that! That’s unbelievable! I thought that…
We now interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for this breaking news report: The five thousand year war in the Middle East is still in progress, with no end in sight. We will return you to your program after these fourteen important messages from our sponsor.
And this concludes our program for this evening. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of “Nine Lives to Give.”
C.: Great! Now I’ll never know if Earnest’s death was a mercy killing or a murder! And if
Earnistina will be able to forgive her human and her vet for causing her to walk with a permanent limp.
d.: Well, that was interesting, but I must go to work now. I’m filling in on the night shift tonight.
Later, at The Kennel
Inmate # 1: Why are you giving me acetaminophen?! That won’t help me!
d.: How about some Tylenol, then?
Inmate #1: Yes, that’s much better! Why didn’t you give me that to begin with?
Inmate #2: I need my Motrin, now!
d.: Here you are…
Inmate #2: This is Ibuprofen! I want my Motrin!
d.: Okay, here you go.
Inmate #2: Were you trying to fool me with those white pills?! Everyone knows that Motrin is off white, not white!
d.: (It is off white after it’s dropped in the toilet!) Very sorry, sir, have a nice evening.
Inmate #3: I need my fentanyl patch, and a glass of water, please.
d.: You don’t have a prescription for that.
Inmate #3: But, I hurt my back seventeen years ago, and it still hurts!
d.: What’s your pain level on a zero to ten scale?
Inmate #3: It’s a two! I’m in pain.
d.: So, you’re alive?
Inmate #4: Those guys are always trying to fool the new guy.
d.: I’ve worked here for ten years, and I did your dressing change yesterday.
Inmate #4: Yes, and you forgot to give me my narcotics.
d.: That’s because your prescription expired last month.
d.: (Well, now that I've handed out the evening meds, it’s time to do my paperwork. Then, I can relax and read some gossip online.)
Oh, wow, here’s the synopsis of the show we were watching. This article says that the show has been discontinued, but it gives the details about what happened yesterday. Cal.E. is never going to believe this. I must call her at once.
ICS! This is not a drill! All emergency personnel report to the officer’s dining hall at once! This is not a drill!
Comments