If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see
But if I stay here with you, girl
Things just couldn't be the same
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird you cannot change
Oh, oh, oh, oh
And the bird you cannot change
And this bird, you cannot change
Lord knows, I can't change
Bye-bye baby, it's been sweet love, yeah, yeah
Though this feelin' I can't change
But please don't take it so badly
'Cause Lord knows, I'm to blame
But if I stay here with you, girl
Things just couldn't be the same
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird you cannot change
Oh, oh, oh, oh
And the bird you cannot change
And this bird, you cannot change
Lord knows, I can't change
Lord help me, I can't change
Lord, I can't change
Won't you fly high, free bird, yeah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Allen Collins / Ronnie Van Zant
Free Bird lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
d.: Cal.E., we need to write our blog. Can you come over to my house now to do that?
C.: No can do, d.c. I’m about to watch my favorite serial series, “Nine Lives to Give.” And I thought that you were busy writing today, so I didn’t think we were going to write our blog until later.
d.: Well, that was the plan, but I seem to have writers….
C.: Block?
d.: Block who?
C.: (This is what happens to former offensive linemen who didn’t wear good helmets.) No, d.c., you have writer’s block.
d.: Yes, I guess you’re right. How did you know, though?
C.:...Well, anyway, do you want to come over and watch my favorite serial series “Nine Lives to Give?”
d.: Sure, right after we write our blog.
C.: The show starts in ten minutes. I don’t want to go to my yarn ball rolling circle and have it spoiled by the other queen cats tonight, so I don’t want to watch it on my DVR later. Let’s just watch my show, and then write our blog.
d.: That sounds like a good idea. I’ll be right over.
(knock knock)
C.: Who is it?
d.: It’s d.c. scot, your next door neighbor and writing partner. I’m here to watch “Nine Lives to Give” with you.
C.: How do I know that it’s really you, and not someone trying to break into my parent’s house?
d.: Because we just talked on the phone.
C.: If it’s really you, d.c., you know that password phrase.
d.: Cal.E, open this ding dang door now!!!
C.: ( I really must talk to Mom and Dad about changing the password phrase.) Oh, hi, d.c., have you been waiting long?
d.: Yes, and it’s starting to rain!
C.: Okay, d.c. Come in and dry off. I need to tell you the premise of the show, so you’ll understand what’s going on.
The show is set in ancient times, in the early nineteen seventies, before you were even born, probably…
d.: I was born in the early nineteen sixties, Cal.E.
C.: Wow! Did they even have color television then?
d.: Sure, if your family had enough money, and the show was filmed in color, and you watched it on the right set, at the right time, and the lighting was perfect, and…
C.: (This may take awhile, so I need to stop him so I can watch my show live) Let me tell you about the show, d.c. First, we have the protagonist, Earnestina. She limped into town looking for the man who shot her paw…
d.: So, that’s why she’s limping?
C.: Why would someone shooting her biological father cause her to walk with a permanent limp? She’s looking for the man who shot Earnest, her father. He was only twenty-seven when she found his dead body in the alley behind the barber shop.
d.: So, he had only been on earth for three years?
C.; No, d.c., he was twenty-seven in human years. Earnestina thinks he was murdered, but the animal control officer said it was an open and shut case of a mercy killing, so he closed the case. Five years later, just before the cold case was put to rest permanently, Earnestina came to town. She found her father’s file in the head animal control officer’s file cabinet and left it on her desk. The animal control officer was perplexed, so she called her old partner, San Antonio Phil, who’s now a P.I.
d.: Wait, I have two questions. One, if Earnistina wasn’t shot, why does she limp? And, two, were Philip and the head animal control officer romantically involved at one point, and that’s why he decided to move to San Antonio, because she broke his heart?
C.: No, d.c. Phil’s real name is Jedidiah, which, as you know, means “Blessed of God." However, Jed didn’t feel blessed when he was passed over for a promotion in favor of his partner, who’s now the head animal control officer, and his ex-lover; so he moved to San Antonio and started working as a private investigator. He said that he’d had his fill of office politics, so he started going by the name “Phil.”
To answer the first question, Earnestina was in the Cat Olympics and hurt her leg. She tore ligaments in her hind leg, but the vet said to let her compete, because she was close to her human. Her human was the famous male actor Meryll Stripe.
d.: I’ve never heard of him.
C.: He was in several movies. He’s recognizable, because he has a stripe down the middle of his head. He’s been an extra in many movies.
d.: In this century, that could be almost anyone. So, were the vet and Meryll Stripe having an affair?
C.: Yes, they went to the county fair together, but only to watch Earnestina perform in the Cat Olympics. They split the money from her earnings, but she could never perform again. She was afraid the same thing that happened to her father would happen to her, when she stopped being able to perform, so she ran away from her humans…or, more likely, limped away. Anyway, today, we’ll find out if her dad was murdered or if it really was a mercy killing. When I started watching this show, they only had one day to do that before the case was permanently closed.
d.: Wow! How long ago did you start watching it?
C.: Let’s see, I started watching this show right after Tucker and I started dating, so one year ago.
d.: And it’s later that same day?
C.: Shhhh. The show’s starting and Tucker is anxious to watch it.
d.: Well, I guess that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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