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Writer's picturemarkmiller323

Cal.E.'s Korner





See the rain comin' down and the roof won't hold 'er Lost my job and I feel a little older Car won't run and our love's grown colder But maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin' Maybe things'll get a little better.

Oh! the clothes need washin' and the fire won't start Kids all cryin' and you're breakin' my heart Whole darn place is fallin' apart Maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin' Maybe things'll get a little better.

Refrain: Work your fingers to the bone - whadda ya get? ( Whoo-whoo ) Boney Fingers - Boney Fing-gers.

Yea! I've been broke as long as I remember Get a little money and I gotta run and spend 'er When I try to save it, pretty woman come and take it Sayin' maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin' Maybe things'll get a little better.

Refrain:

Yea! the grass won't grow and the sun's too hot The whole darn world is goin' to pot Might as well like it 'cause you're all that I've got But, maybe things'll get a little better, in the mornin' Maybe things'll get a little better.


C.: Well, yesterday we talked about baseball, but today we’ll talk about careers. I’m presently employed at my first one, where I’ve advance to upper management at The Kennel as a cage cleaner. This is my first career, but my partner, d.c. scot, is on his second career. He’s also been a writer for some time.

“d.c., a lot of your manuscripts take experiences from your present job at The Kennel and use them to create…totally fictional accounts of this job. When you were involved in agriculture, did you do the same thing with that job?”



d.: I did. I wrote several songs and scripts for movies, but none of them took off. I wrote what I thought was an excellent script for a movie. It was called “The Exterminator.” This movie was about a man who posed as a bug killer. Once he gained access to the people’s residences that he was hired to kill, though, he sprayed them with 100% acetic acid. The bodies disintegrated, so no one knew they were dead for days. They were assumed to be missing. He killed thirty-seven people this way. Then, when he was finally caught, he sprayed the cops with his special mixture and got away. That led to a sequel called “The Fumigator.” The star would gain access to residences by telling them that the house had a severe case of termites, and it needed to be fumigated. He would tell them to rent a hotel room, and he would then stay at the residence for an extended period of time. No one wanted to go into the houses, because they had strong chemicals being released in them. He stayed on the run until he poisoned himself with his own chemicals by accident. That didn’t sell, so I turned to writing songs.

I wrote “Lawnmower Man.” That was a song about a guy who bought a riding mower, but he lived in a neighborhood with patio homes. He couldn’t turn his tractor around until he reached the end of the street, so he mowed all his neighbor’s yards. That didn’t sell, either.

I then wrote “Smoke on the Lungs,” a song about how bad smoking is for one’s lungs. No one wanted to hear it, though, because it was the 1970s, and everyone smoked back then. I then turned to writing country music, since no one was buying my rock songs.

I wrote “I’m NOT Going to Miss Her,” about a man who drove his wife away by fishing all the time. He didn’t like his wife, so, when she threatened to leave him if he didn’t stop fishing, he entered a fishing rodeo. That didn’t sell. It was too cliché was the reason I was given.

I then wrote a country song for Alan Jackson called “It’s Alright to be Great Big.” I thought it would sell, because it was a song about self-acceptance, but that didn’t sell, either, so I wrote another song for the popular country star. It was called “In Another World.” It was a song about a perfect world. Mr. Jackson really liked the song, but he was afraid that it was too optimistic for the country genre, because it was about a perfect world.

So, I started writing pessimistic songs. I wrote. “I can’t Ride This Dang Horse Down, and I’m Going to Starve to Death Because I Spent All My Money on Entry Fees for the Rodeos That I Participated In.” That was too pessimistic, as well as realistic, according to all the recoding stars I tried to sell it to. That’s when I decided to go back to school and start another career.




C.: And, I see that my husband, five time heavyweight cat fighting world champion Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. “The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T, Because Triple T Was Already Taken, is telling me that we’re out of time for today, so please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.


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